Archive for the ‘Media’ Category

>Twenty-five years ago I had a friend who liked to say that television would turn out to be the downfall of our civilization.  Richard was prone to hyperbole. 
   But about the same time, I was on temporary assignment in California,living in a rental apartment for 3 months with no television. It literally changed my life. (Not living in California…having no TV.) 
   For those three months, I found myself with more “spare time” than I ever had before. I got up at dawn, jogged around a neighborhood track (where I met new people), read more books and magazines (making me more interesting to talk to), browsed local shops (meeting still more new people) and walked the beach a lot, taking in and slowly appreciating the many faces of Nature.  It was a short span of time in my life, relatively speaking, but the impact of life without television was both enlightening and permanent.
   Television isn’t inherently good or bad. It just is. It’s like anything else…it’s how we use it…or how we’re used by it. 
   It’s obvious and easy to dismiss a lot of the meaningless and trashy shows that are available on any one of several hundred channels, but what about the more subtle effects of repeatedly seeing and hearing terrifying or tragic stories about things that take place beyond our immediate existence. Virginia Tech or Paris Hilton…do these events occur within your immediate world or impact the things you have to accomplish today? While I may not mind being informed about such things, and hopefully can in some way benefit from them or come to someone else’s aid, once informed, I don’t need to be subjected to the same story over and over when, in real time, it’s already over. 
   How does the repetition of history on an hourly basis support my living in the present? What does the investigation into the details of a mass murderer’s life do for me? And more importantly, what does it do for the children?
   I spoke with a friend yesterday who has a 6 year old son. At day camp, it seems he put his hands around his throat and said something at about wanting to kill himself…and the next day jumped in front of a go-cart after expressing a similar thought.  She loves her son and is rightfully concerned, yet doesn’t want to make too much out of it in case its just a “boy” thing and he’s trying to get attention by negative means.  In thinking about the incidents, she was repeatedly perplexed by “where did he ever hear talk like that?”  I don’t know that answer for sure, but he’s 6 and has a television in his bedroom. While she believes it calms him down, I believe otherwise.
   There are educational programs and programs with merit in all genres. They key is how responsible are we in discerning what nourishes us and what depletes and diminishes us?
   Some days I’m more serious than others. Today, looking back at what I’ve written, I seem serious. I could go watch TV to get my mind off of it all… but I think I’ll go read a good book instead. 
   Our 14 year old left for camp this week and packed 7 classics to read over the summer. I was elated.
   I’d like to thank the employer who sent me to California for three months 25 years ago for her choices.

>    I was reading an article about the effects of violent video games on children.  It theorized that while the games in and of themselves will not cause a child to act like the boys at Columbine or the Virginia Tech shooter, the games plus the presence of other risk factors will have an impact that will likely move a person towards heightened violence.    
   Admittedly, we live in a violent world. But so did Cain and Abel. 
   The negative effects of wanting what you do not have or being unable to wait to get what you want have been around for as long as we humans have.  And while it has many faces, and we propose as many possible origins, I think it all comes down to two simple principles: accepting your life as it is and allowing others to be who they choose to be. 
   Whether it’s the burglar breaking into a home to steal valuables, or the ex-husband who decides if he can’t have his wife he’ll kill her, or the mother who can’t take all the responsibility of caring for the children she birthed so she abandons them, or the teenager who wants his name in the paper so he massacres several students, or the person who steals simply because they want something and can’t afford to buy it, or the Muslim extremists who decide that everyone should live by Sharia law..it all comes down to acts born of the refusal to accept one’s life as it is and refusing to allow others to live their lives as they choose.
   We spend a lot of political capital on the federal, state and local level arguing and lobbying for better schools, “no child left behind” issues that relate to making sure all children have the fundamentals of education as we’ve defined them thus far.
   But what if our definition is in need of revision?  I’m not saying that reading and writing and ‘rithmatic…or quantum physics… aren’t valuable and necessary.  But maybe it’s time we re-evaluated what really matters in education. 
   Maybe it’s time we taught the children Acceptance and Allowing.    
   Acceptance 101 would teach the kids that your portion in life is your portion in life. Accept it with gratitude, whatever it looks like at the moment. If you want to change it, put your thoughts and energy into those things that will make a positive difference. 
   Allowing 101 would teach them to see everyone else as a mirror image of yourself and understand that others are also working on accepting their lives as they are so do not judge them for their progress or envy them their accomplishments and acquisitions.
   Our daughter is heading for high school in the Fall and we sat with her as she selected her courses. While I am pleased with her choices (she’s bright and creative as well so it’s a nice blend of academics and the arts) I would still loved to have been able to say, “Honey, why don’t you take “Acceptance 101” and “Allowing 101.”
   I’ll bet in hindsight, Adam and Eve would have loved to have been able to recommended those courses to their children, too. If they could have, just maybe I wouldn’t have had to write a column about violence.
   

>   Last night I was looking at the news stories to get an idea on what to write about today. I was reading about the crowd in Austin, Texas that dragged a passenger from his car and beat him to death because the car had hit a child causing minor injuries. Then, of course, there was the daily violence in Iraq, and now Gaza. So, I thought I’d write about, if not the origins of violence, then what we can do about it.
   Then I got depressed and didn’t feel like writing at all. Now, it’s morning, and I awoke still depressed and still not much moved to write. 
   So, it seems, the topic is depression.
   We all have those days when we feel that the world is glorious, sunny, and anything is possible. And we all have those days when everything seems to close in, the sun can’t be found anywhere, and getting out of bed seems mildly possible. Yippee for the former. 
   As for the latter…Why?
   As I look back over the past few days, I can see that I was very caught up in the “do-ing” of my life as opposed to the “be-ing” in my life. For me, getting detached and too far from the “be-ing” part, the part where I am fully living in the moment and immersed in the wonder of it all, seems to cause me to drift farther and farther away from my own center. Since it’s from that center that I bring forth the great experiences of my life, drifting too far is dangerous and emotionally deadening. 
   When I am centered, it’s as if I can feel the pace of life, sense it’s purpose, and find joy in the smallest act. It’s also the place from which I am my most creative. Since it’s creativity that enlivens me, drifting far from center also means falling deeper and deeper into a place where there is little possibility of creating anything.  It’s a place of no movement, no change.
   We humans are not static beings and we do not reside on a static planet. Earth is in a constant state of change and becoming. So are our physical bodies. It’s of the utmost importance that our consciousness also be in that state of becoming, of change. For consciousness, that state occurs when we create and co-create. That’s when it’s possible to sense, if not know, that each of us has unique abilities and talents that we were born to utilize and contribute to the ongoing unfoldment of the whole for the highest good of all concerned.
   So, today, no matter how many “things” are on your to-do list, take a break.  Take an hour or take the day and just “be.”  
   Settle into that place within yourself where you are not what you do but are simply who you really are.  Allow your muse, your inner guide to creativity, to speak to you. That conversation can be recognized by how you feel.  Trust what you feel and allow those feelings to guide you to create something only you were born to create. And if all that you achieve is an hour or a day of “be-ing” instead of “do-ing”…I can assure you that you’ll find “be-ing” is it’s own reward.
   Maybe I did write about violence after all.  A world filled with people who are so disconnected from all things natural, who function and work at a lightening pace in order to keep up with the pace of the technology, who barely have time to accomplish what they need to do each day, let alone have time to share friendships and intimacy…now there’s a recipe for disaster. 
   Stop doing. Pause. Start up again. Be.  
   Now there’s a recipe for joy.

   P.S. I’m not depressed anymore.

>I read on CNN that yesterday, while playing a round of golf, a 73-year-old woman jumped into a lake on the course and successfully saved a drowning dog. It seems not all dogs can swim.    
   I think there are two important lessons in that event.
   First, we all make assumptions based upon stereotypes, culture, or our own pre-conceived biases.  Here are two: 1) old women are old, and as such, simply don’t do certain things…like jump into lakes with their clothes on to rescue anything; 2) all dogs can “doggy-paddle”(which we take to mean “swim”). So much for relying on assumptions. 
   But what is the real harm in thinking that way?  Well, when it comes to others, we tend to attribute thought and motive to them that may or may not be true and then we act or re-act based upon those assumptions, thereby setting into motion a whole series of events that may or may not be in the interest of all concerned.  
   When it comes to ourselves, assumptions about our capacity to process new information or respond to new challenges can be limiting  In reality, both our capacity to process and our ability to create are unlimited.  
   Take the woman who singlehandedly lifts an automobile off of her child trapped underneath it.  In her rational mind, given her own and society’s routine beliefs and biases, she would never think she had the strength or ability to perform such an act. But outside of those assumptions (and limiting beliefs) she simply does what she sets her will to do.
   The second lesson is that everything that is put in our way in life is an opportunity. I recall when one of many bystanders who witnessed the crash of a commuter airplane in the Potomac River many years ago  jumped into winter’s frigid waters to save a drowning woman even though he himself could not swim. Everyone watching the crash survivors from the nearby bridge had the same opportunity, but only one man seized it. I am certain his daring and success forever changed many lives. I know that image remains with me so many years later.
   Of course, it’s not always that dramatic. Sometimes the opportunities are more subtle. Like the homeless person whose path crosses yours and how you respond. Or a new day’s opportunity to relate and interact a little better with your child.
   The point is that everyone and everything that crosses your path today is there for a reason. The reason is your opportunity to push past self-and-other-imposed limitations and by so doing, create a new and uplifting story.
   Daring and creativity are their own reward. But try telling that to the 73-year-old who saved the dog, dried herself off and went on to play the best 18 holes of anyone in her set.
   She and the dog had a great day!    

   This morning there is the daily media “update” on Paris Hilton. Today, it seems her sentence is being shortened due to “good behavior.” Funny, I find her name and the phrase “good behavior” to be an oxymoron. 
   Recently, a 14 year-old boy in our community committed suicide. As if that wasn’t enough tragedy, he was but the latest in a string of adolescent suicides to have occurred within this affluent, suburban school district within the past few years. The roster of successful, and sometimes unsuccessful attempts, includes even the daughter of the Superintendent of Schools who, fortunately, survived. So why write a column about suicide, Paris Hilton, and Donald Trump’s reality show, The Apprentice?  
   Perhaps it’s because the children trying to die and the contestants on The Apprentice are linked by a common thread: the pressure to achieve success at any price. Both are burdened by trying to emulate values and belief systems which have nothing to do with who they are as unique, individually valuable and beautiful human beings. The only difference between the two is timing.  
   The children dying, as well as those trying to die, are mirroring the very real, deadly effect of being disconnected from their higher selves while simultaneously trying to cope with the prospect of insurmountable pressure to achieve academic success.  
   Fast forward a few years in time to the young adults on The Apprentice who’ve managed to circumvent such a tragic end, but who now stand as living proof that the pressure to succeed, in the absence of a moral and spiritual framework, leads to the formation of an egocentric and cut-throat human being whose only goal is to be the last one standing.
   The Apprentice was an early entry into the land of reality TV. I’ve heard people who had panned the Bachelor or Fear Factor or The Osbournes, justifying why The Apprentice is different. No its not. In fact, it brings to light a particularly insidious societal disease claiming more victims than cancer. 
   We revel in vicariously living the lives of famous people…Donald, Diana, Paris…just to name a few. This inclination stems from the fact that we don’t recognize how each of our own lives is unique and has priceless value. We fail to understand that every human life has a purpose to fulfill and a contribution to make.
   When we define ourselves using someone else’s definition, there’s a greater than 50/50 chance they’ll be wrong. The result of that gamble is for us to then live a life based upon feelings of inadequacy for having allowed someone else to define us.
   The solution is to take direction and definition from within…to listen and trust in your own instincts and values. It’s okay to allow others to reflect areas in which you can grow; but never allow others to define who you are, or place an artificial value on your worth.  Define yourself by your strengths and grow yourself through your weaknesses.
   What’s wrong with The Apprentice is that it isn’t “all for one and one for all.”  It’s me for me.  When it’s “all for one and one for all” a natural leader arises and everyone prospers. Everyone on The Apprentice wants to become The Donald, but Trump already has his name on everything. That’s who he is. He’s the best Donald Trump he knows how to be. 
   How sad if the parable is true that when we die and find ourselves before the Creator, apologizing for how we were not as kind as Abraham or as selfless as Jesus or as brilliant as Einstein, the Creator’s loving reply is “I already had an Abraham, a Jesus and an Einstein. Were you the best Carole you could have been?”