Archive for the ‘Healing’ Category

Two seemingly unrelated news stories caught my eye. The first, concerns the “entertainer” Prince praising the virtues of countries run under Sharia law, especially the “order” and “simplicity” of having women wear burqas.  The second is about a gender neutral approach to everything from education to child rearing.

Where’s the connection?  Well, that’s the first question.

The second is “Where’s the real harm?”

The obvious answer to the first question is that both stories speak to how we perceive and respond to sexuality.  While that is certainly a big topic that deserves its own post, we need to be much more concerned with the answer to the second question.

For several thousand years, male dominated governments, religions and societies in general, have institutionalized the marginalization, even the near obliteration, of the Divine Feminine aspect of Creation.  It isn’t necessary to go much farther than Genesis 1:26, “And God said, Let us make man in our image after our likeness…” (emphasis added). Everywhere you look in Nature, you find the interaction and cooperation between polarities… the necessary, and dare I say equally important contributions, of what those polarized aspects bring to the perpetuation of all things natural.

Not so mankind.

Man, literally man, has spent thousands of years and squandered countless resources in efforts to deny the Divine Feminine role in Creation and to imprison the female in one of three roles: mother, whore or object (a/k/a property).  We need not look very far beyond this perversion of Natural Law to explain thousands of years of aggression, war, and imbalance.

This is not a feminist rant.  This is a call to mankind to awaken to the reality that the Divine Feminine is resurrected and, undaunted, has embarked upon a return to Her rightful place alongside the masculine aspect of Creator.

It is through this re-balancing of male and female energies that the world will be set right and by no other means.  No secular legislation or religious dictate will end this breech until the hearts of men are open to the love and inherent value of all living beings… a lesson learned only through recognizing, accepting and acknowledging the Wisdom that is the Divine Feminine role in Creation.

 

It’s the day after, so what can I say about Congressman Anthony Weiner that hasn’t already been said? Well, I’m not certain.  But I have a few “off the beaten track” remarks to make and so will try and put this sordid story to rest here by making them.

1.  Those women who participated with the Congressman in sexual references beyond that first “tweet” or Facebook exchange are as culpable as the Congressman, and for them to claim duplicity, victimization or embarrassment is its own shame.

2.  Predatory sexual practices, whether male-female (the most notorious), male-male (i.e. the Catholic Church); female-male; female-female or adult -child are reprehensible and speak to the emotional illness, moral depravity and lack of character of the perpetrator.

3.  Accepting responsibility for reprehensible behavior, absent a consequence, is an empty gesture with no redeeming value.

4.  As adolescent and perverse the Congressman’s sexual preferences and behavior may be, it is his willful and knowing decision to lie and deceive his friends, colleagues, and constituents that make him unfit to hold public office and thereby, public trust.

Every day, each of us is confronted with opportunities to confront or deny behavior in ourselves and others that is the basis for a degenerating society.  What we do in these moments is our personal contribution to the world in which we live.  If each of us is not ready, willing and able to stand and resist the perpetual lowering of the bar for acceptable behavior, then no politician or bumper sticker will save us from self-imposed and self-selected destruction.

 

New York Congressman Anthony Weiner apparently has no survival instinct.  He is patently self-destructive. Not only did he place at risk both his marriage and his career by blatantly pursuing perverse sexual behavior through the internet and social media sites, but having been exposed (no pun intended,) he exhibits neither remorse nor an inclination to admit to his behavior. He’s in denial… publically at least.  Personally, only his humiliated and presumably pained wife knows if he’s in denial privately as well.

Brooklyn Democratic Chairman and power broker Vito Lopez has been quoted as saying “Something like this better be put to rest. If it’s left outstanding, it could have damaging impact, even if it means the difference of 3 or 4 percent of the vote in a very competitive four-way or five-way race” regarding Weiner’s chances in a future mayoral contest.

Is that really the issue? Is the potential damage to Mr. Weiner’s political career what the media…what we… need to be focusing upon?

Given the dire economic straights the economy is suffering and the worldwide propensity for revolution, isn’t this a little reminiscent of how the country handled the Bill Clinton-Monica Lewinski revelations?  Didn’t we learn anything from that sordid moment?  It’s not about the economy, political careers or even the wanton misuse of power.

It’s about how We The People continue to look the other way… in our personal lives and in the lives of public figures when its simply easier and more convenient to do that than confront the reality.

The reality is that as a culture and a society we have so lowered the bar that we barely blink… and are almost never heard…when behavior is demeaning, degrading and socially harmful.  So Weiner gets 15 minutes of media focus for his disgusting behavior and our kids are exposed to one more sexual deviant. So everyone laughs when the “F” word is used at the MTV awards and our children are watching and making a mental (even if subconscious) note.  So the likes of Schwarzenegger, Strauss-Kahn, and Edwards are momentarily exposed and perhaps embarrassed (I think that requires a conscience and I’m not sure these guys qualify) and then life goes on for us… and further downhill it goes as well.

It’s really up to each of us to begin to examine our own lives and hold not only public figures accountable but ourselves as well.  It’s time (actually its almost past available time) when we redefine and restructure our values, our priorities and our tolerance levels for what kind of world we want to create and live in.

Anthony Weiner and deviants like him are symptoms of an ailing culture. We are both the illness and the cure.  Which of those we end up cultivating will be determined by the our choices starting now… and the personal responsibility for those choices we are each willing and able to accept.

 

You’ve heard the expression a thousand times. “Follow the money.” It’s used when one is looking to trace back to the origins of how something has occurred.  What if I told you that the expression “follow the money” is actually a perversion and a deliberate distraction of a much more powerful and accurate expression?

Curious?  Good!

Following the money may get you a very limited revelation about a specific occurrence… but if you want a greater understanding of how everything in your life occurs “follow your feelings.”

Your feelings are the fuel that drives the engine of your beliefs and your beliefs are the basis for your thoughts about what is true for you. Whether you realize it or not, what you think about yourself and the world in which you live actually manifests as your reality.

We are always thinking.  What we think we create.  What we think most often is what we most often create.  This concept is the basis for all of the self-help and self-actualization teachings that have become so widespread in the past several decades.  But if you have difficulty grasping either the philosophical or spiritual basis for this concept… how about a scientific one?

At the quantum level, the conscious presence of an observer affects matter, literally.  What this means is that when a conscious observer is present to observe an experiment, the mere presence of that observer changes the outcome of that which is being observed!  Consciousness… thoughts… matter.

We humans are actually transmitters and receivers of vast quantities of information.  We perform this exchange of energy by way of frequency.  Not unlike radio waves.  I like to think of it as AM, FM and… well… add whatever letter works for you.  I prefer “CM” as in Consciousness Modulation.  The more conscious, or aware, you are of your feelings, beliefs and thoughts the more power you have to create your own experiences.

This brings me to the point.

True power lies within.  Fear acts to “jam” the vital information you need to send and receive on CM.  Refusal to recognize this, or to take responsibility for it, traps you in a powerless, pessimistic, victim consciousness.  It’s a lower frequency wherein very little else can be accessed other than fear.  It’s also a frequency that has been broadcast and used for millennia to keep you from realizing and actualizing your own power.

You have Free Will.  Today, as you make choices about everything from what to wear to what to eat… remember to make the most important choice of all.  Choose to follow your feelings all the way to your beliefs so that you can consciously choose what you think about life, its possibilities and your role in it all.

I assure you that what you tune into on CM is light years (a deliberate choice of words!) beyond anything you’ll ever be able to access on any other frequency.

 

I have a friend who cannot seem to stop blaming herself and feeling shame for behavior she has corrected and no longer participates in.   Her shame and guilt act as an ongoing impediment to her making any kind of meaningful progress in her life because she forever doubts her worth as a human being.   And what’s worse, she expends so much energy trying to hide the knowledge of her former behavior from others that she’s grown comfortable living a lie.

Which got me to thinking about the futility and sheer exhaustion of carrying around unnecessary baggage rather than proudly wearing the lessons and benefits of life’s experiences.

When I was 24 years old I tried to commit suicide.  I speak annually to high schools on depression and suicide and also often include reference to the attempt in my many inspirational speaking engagements which cover a variety of topics.  I am never ashamed to mention the attempt because growing past the circumstances and insecurities that led me to try is one of the greatest lessons of my life.  Rather than see the attempt as something for which I should be ashamed, I see it as a triumphal turning point in my own life and an experience that may help save others from such pain.

However, life experiences can only be instructive and helpful if shared.

I believe that we are all here to be a light unto one another.  It serves no one to hide your light.   And if you’ll allow me to expand the metaphor out a bit … it’s through acquiring experience, of every kind, that we get “brighter.”

I wish I could convince my friend that she needn’t cower or hide from the truth of her experiences.  I wish I could gift to her the forgiveness I feel having given my own unconscious behaviors over to God.  But it is right that we each get to a place of awareness and peace within ourselves in our own time.  I can at least take comfort in the fact that we all, do in fact, ultimately get there.

In the meantime, while I cannot help her carry her baggage… I do routinely remind her that when she is ready, she can simply put it down.

 

There are lots of obvious challenges currently confronting the nation.  Each demands and deserves significant attention and creative thinking to resolve.  Yet, what if I told you there was one solution that would fix all of the problems facing us and it’s within your power to do something about it?

Curious? Intrigued?

Well, first, a little background.

Over the past 50 years, the technological explosion has outpaced our social and spiritual development.  As a result, our application of the technology can be likened to a 12-year-old who is given the keys to the family car.  While he or she may know how to put the key into the ignition, press on the accelerator and turn the wheel… what is intended to be a means of transportation turns into a deadly weapon.  Without maturity, understanding and formal training, a 12-year-old with access to driving a car is… no pun intended… an accident waiting to happen.

So, too, is humanity in relation to technology.  Whether it’s the misuse of nuclear power for aggressive purposes or living lives propelled to the point of insanity by cell phones, blackberries, faxes, ipads, or 24/7 news… we are that 12-year-old with the keys in hand lacking the maturity, understanding and training to moderate how, when and why we use what’s before us.  Absent those safeguards, we are not driving the technology, the technology is driving us (again, no pun intended but I can’t seem to help myself!).

Understanding the point at which we’ve arrived, and the inherent dangers, can be very helpful.  To go back to the car analogy, the 12-year-old is unlikely to self-regulate.  After all, the car is fun and faster than walking.  The most likely event that would change his or her mind would be a collision.  The more serious the collision, the greater the change of mind and perspective.

Unfortunately, humanity cannot afford the equivalent of a significant auto collision.  We have become too interconnected globally, and too reliant personally, to withstand a technologically based accident without severe and long lasting consequences: e.g. Japan’s nuclear meltdown.

What can we do?  Well, here’s what you can do.  Get off this train.

First, evaluate your own life and decrease the role that technology plays in it.  Each self-limitation you impose will restore an equal or greater amount of sanity to your world… and the world at large.  Secondly, daily study and teach, by way of example, choices and behavior that are ethically and morally driven.  Thirdly, reconnect with or enhance the role that God/spirituality/Source plays in your life.

If you think that changing your personal relationship with technology will make little difference, let me remind you of a scientific fact.  When a butterfly flaps its wings in New York wind patterns change in Europe.  It’s just a matter of time.

We, like Nature, are all One and everything each of us does affects the whole.  For good or for ill.  And so your changes matter.  They matter most immediately to the quality of your own life.  Eventually and inevitably, however, they matter to the quality of everyone else’s.

That’s what you can do and that’s how you can change the world.

One decision at a time.

It’s never easy to look for and find a “higher purpose” in tragic events.  Sometimes, in fact, doing so appears almost heartless.  So I am well aware of the dangers in what I am about to say.

The events in Japan are akin to a global 911 of natural origin.  I think they hold the potential for rebirth, healing and unity for much of the world.  However, before I go there, let me say that I’ve been broken hearted over the loss of life and suffering being experienced by the Japanese people.  I have been praying for them daily since the earthquake and tsunami struck.

Now, to what I mean by a “global 911.”  On September 11^th, tragedy struck on an unprecedented scale, lives were lost, and commerce interrupted.  The reaction, although admittedly brief, was Oneness.  Not only did all of this nation’s citizens pull together to help respond to every conceivable need, but so did many individuals and nations from around the world. There was a temporary understanding by humanity’s Consciousness that we are all in deed connected and, therefore, united we stand.

There’s no terrorist behind what is occurring in Japan.  It’s Earth and Nature in service to restoring balance to a world that has veered far off course and that is very out of balance.  Again, I am sensitive to how callous this may sound but in order for caterpillar to be transformed into a butterfly, the caterpillar must relinquish its physical form.

Something similar is happening in Japan.  Believe that I value all life forms and see not one human Being as expendable.  But as painful and tragic as this catastrophe and loss of life is, its form that’s being altered.  There is no corresponding destruction of Spirit.

We are all connected. We have been disrespectful of one another and the Earth.  We have been insensitive, greedy and lacking in compassion.  We have ignored our Oneness.  We have  created the imbalance.

Nature is infinitely more powerful and resourceful than we.  No amount of manmade protection or planning will outstay It’s staying power.  This is what we are witnessing in Japan.

We can awaken NOW and do what we did not do after 911.  We can lay down our differences  and our indifference to honor how connected we are to each other and the Earth that sustains us.  We can know and act in accordance with that knowing that this is the moment of “united we stand or divided we fall.”

In compassion… we can weep for those suffering and those lost.

In wisdom… we can know that every thought, word and deed matters.

In Our knowing, we can act as One.

 

I seem to hear a repeated theme lately that’s troubling lots of people. It revolves around feeling that events seem somewhat out of our control.  Now, while I can’t say that things have ever really been in our control… it is true that life in the first decade of the new millennium has been chaotic, requiring lots of energy just to stay “afloat” through it all.

Embarking upon the second decade, I see no signs that things will vastly improve in the “In Control Department.”

So, what’s a person to do?

Well, might I suggest surrender?  No, not as in a feeling of hopelessness.  To the contrary… with a joyful feeling of hope-full-ness.

Why? Because it’s in surrendering to the flow of Life that one is able to catch the wave… so to speak.  We are definitely dealing with a wave Here and Now.  So, you have two options.  Resist it or catch it.  To think you can control it is a waste of time and energy.

I know.  I used to think I could control waves.  I was always trying to manage the situation… direct the players… determine the outcome. It’s exhausting continuously bailing that water!  Not to mention futile.

Trial and error have taught me that when things around me are either temporarily inexplicable or seeming out of my control… let them be that way.  It’s best to go within… quiet my mind… and release events to their own unfolding.  What happens next is that when I “reemerge” from my inward focus, voila!  The sun is shining.  Things have taken a turn for the better.  Everyone’s better, actually.

So whether it’s personal, professional or global, give it a rest.  Float on your back for awhile.  Enjoy the ride and the scenery.

You’ll be surprised how refreshed you… and all of it… will seem upon your return.

Jewish or Christian, it’s the season of miracles.  Since I had one this week I thought I‘d share it.  It begins with back pain.

I’m a swimmer.  I love to do laps.  I swim outside in the summer months and in the winter I join a health club with an indoor pool.  My love of the sport is new since, until about 15 years ago, I was uncomfortable in the water and couldn’t really swim.  Having surmounted my fears, I taught myself to swim and have been dedicated ever since.

However, within the last 6 months, I have been having severe upper back pain and so when the pool closed in September I decided it was too painful to swim.  I didn’t join the club.  Recently, I’ve seen several doctors who have ordered x-rays, ultrasounds, thermography and an MRI… all in an effort to diagnose the pain… which happens to be in the area of my rotator cuff and under the scapula as well.

Last week, a friend of mine who didn’t know of the pain, suggested I join the health club as I have for the past couple of years since it was her thought that I am “just plain happier when I am swimming… so why not?”  Thinking over her suggestion, I decided “why not” as well and joined.

Somewhere in my thought process was the hope that, at this point, exercising the muscles by swimming might help.

Enter the miracle.

Yesterday was my second night swimming.  Midway through my regimen of laps, a man asked me if he could share my lane. Swim protocol and courtesy says the answer to that question is always “Yes.”  After he did a lap or two, with beautiful form, he waited for me to end my lap and asked me if I’d mind if he gave me some constructive advice.  “Not at all, please do” I replied.

“When your left arm comes up out of the water and goes back in its crossing over your plane.  It’s crossing all the way to your right side.  You are going to hurt your rotator cuff and upper back.” (my emphasis not his)!

Can you imagine my shock?  I could hardly believe it.  I had just had an x-ray earlier that day.

Here he had “showed up” (a tri-athlete I might add) to tell me exactly the cause of my back pain.  No disease.  Nothing mysterious.  Doctors need apply.  I am swimming incorrectly and reinjuring myself every time I do.

But here’s the thing.

When you are “in the flow” (no pun intended) the Universe gives you what you need.  Exactly what you need.  Not always what you want, but definitely what you need.

So, I got a diagnosis, a solution, and a free swimming lesson from a tri-athlete because I was open to 1) my spiritual friend’s suggestion that I rejoin the health club and 2) I was trying to do the best I could for  myself.

It’s the stuff of miracles.

But that’s not a surprise because… ‘tis the season.

Right?

As a survivor of attempted suicide, I have been a writer and inspirational speaker on depression and suicide for several years.  Since both subjects continue to have stigma attached to them they don’t get the public attention they need. However, whenever there is a suicide by a public or media worthy person, it presents an opportunity.

Such is the case today with the suicide of convicted financier Bernard Madoff’s eldest son, Mark.

There will be broad conjecture on the “why” of it.  Some will suspect an unrevealed personal embarrassment, or will find perverse satisfaction in Mr. Madoff’s tragic loss and suffering, or, will conclude it’s the “sins of the father” visited upon the son.

I leave those judgmental meanderings to others.

For me, it’s about the two things depression and suicide are always about. The abandonment of trust in one’s ability to handle life’s challenges and the temporary misplacement of hope.

Depression is rooted in the fear that somehow “I am not good enough, capable enough or lovable enough” to live a joyful and productive life.  Its weapon of choice is fear… dense, sluggish energy that manifests as immobility.  A depressed person lacks motivation, initiative, passion and staying power.  They become weighted down by inertia.

When one is depressed, it often follows that feelings of hopelessness accompany feelings of inadequacy resulting in an irrational, but seemingly logical, conclusion that things will never change.  The thought of living an unchanging, inert life becomes unbearable.  Unable to stand the pain, ending one’s life seems a viable option and a “constructive” step to take.

What I share when I speak about depression and suicide is that the only constant in life is change.  For we humans, change is frequently challenging and often uncomfortable.  It’s not so much about learning to overcome feelings of inadequacy and inertia as it is about learning to become comfortable with being uncomfortable.   Then everyday can be seen for what it is: an endless opportunity to create, anew, the life we imagine.

There are two steps I am certain move depression in a positive direction and mitigate the likelihood that it will lead, unaddressed, to attempted suicide.

Giving: Feelings of inadequacy or worthlessness simply dissipate, or disappear, the moment we step outside ourselves and provide assistance to another in need.  When you’re depressed volunteer, or just reach out within your immediate environment, and provide some form of help or caring for a family member, friend, neighbor or even animal. The warmth that flows through your system in realizing you are needed and appreciated thaws the freeze of inertia.

Doing something you love:  Every cell in your body stores memory as well as the emotion attached to it.   So, when you’re depressed and force yourself to do something you love to do… cycling… planting… painting… walking in Nature… whatever… even though you may start out depressed, the sheer act of having your cells call up the emotion stored in them, along with the memory of that thing you love, causes a crack in the door to the place where the darkness of depression sulks. Once that crack occurs, the frequency of Light energy bound to that pleasant memory begins to enter the darkness.  The Light energy, seeping in, will elevate and brighten your outlook.  Literally.

Mark Madoff left a suicide note.  It may not be a literal note, on a physical piece of paper, but it’s no less instructive or important.  The note said: “I was lost in doubt and hopelessness. I thought I was not good enough. I didn’t see a way out. I could not bear the pain.”  I know that’s what his note said because anyone who has ever been depressed, attempted or committed suicide would leave the same note.

Treating a  suicide as “newsworthy” is to make a distinction without a difference.   All suicides are newsworthy as they represent the loss of the infinite potential each of us is born with to create a better world.  I hope we can shine a bright light on this topic and, by so doing, illuminate the way for all of those who may be temporarily lost in darkness.