Archive for the ‘Behavior’ Category

On September 4^th I posted a blog titled “Barack Obama: Father-in Chief” in which I claimed that Barack Obama’s real gifts are as a husband and father. He seems to have a sound marriage and be actively engaged with his daughters, who seem to enjoy being in his presence. As a parent and divorcee, these are no small accomplishments and ones for which success deserves recognition.

Good husband and father… perhaps, mentor.  But these qualities do not necessarily a leader make and in the President’s case these last three and a half years have painfully driven that point home.

Enter Hurricane Sandy.

Much of the mainstream media, as well as some voters, saw the President return to Washington from the campaign trail, don a flight jacket, make a public address, be embraced by a Republican Governor and concluded that the President “acted Presidential.” That conclusion gave him a slight boost in the polling in advance of Tuesday’s election.

I, for one, assert that what the President did in response to Hurricane Sandy was much more in line with his being a good husband and father than it did with his ability to lead, generally. Surely he must be emotionally available or his girls wouldn’t seem as close to him as they do.  So he gets the emotional component of the devastation wreaked by Sandy.  And certainly he’s repeatedly proven he knows how to seize a photo op and manipulate his public image by manipulating the press.

When you combine those two qualities you can see that he responded to the hurricane consistent with who he really is. Which is why on September 4^th I suggested that on November 6^th we send him home to Chicago (or Hawaii if that’s his choice) to be the husband, father and perhaps inner-city mentor to young African- American boys that is so desperately needed.

You see, I’m not interested in someone who can “act” Presidential for a passing engagement…I’m interested in someone who can actually be Presidential for as long as they hold the office.

The President’s response to the hurricane cannot be faulted. Not so for the prior term of his Presidency. Let’s stop thinking in snap-shot size thoughts and broaden our perspective and our willingness to identify patterns of behavior.

That done, there remains only one conscious vote on November 6^th.

Video of the statement of the father of the Navy Seal hero who was sacrificed along with three other Americans in Benghazi.

 

 

There’s a tragic story out of Canada about a teen suicide. It is the latest in the devastating effects of bullying. I found it so ironic that it followed the Vice Presidential debate by two days because, for me, the connection was unmistakable.  No, I am not blaming Vice President Joe Biden for the suicide of a Canadian teenager. What I am calling him on is his modeling of bullying as viable and preferred method of communication.

As a survivor of attempted suicide at age 24, I have a particular sensitivity to tragedies such as the one in Canada. As a talk radio host, I have a need to keep abreast of the news. As a citizen, I have an obligation to be educated, aware and hold my elected officials to a certain behavioral standard of public service and when they fail, to replace them. As a human being, I am personally responsible for not only my own choices but those of others whom I either condone or condemn.

In a nation plagued by bullying, cyber and otherwise, I was shocked and dismayed that in all the commentary and condemnation of Vice President Biden’s shameful behavior during the debate with Congressman Ryan this past week there remains, even as I write, an absence of awareness and identification of the fact that the Vice President was being a bully.

I make this accusation because his behavior was demeaning, condescending, intimidating, designed to make Congressman Ryan look foolish, stupid, out-of-touch and not worth the time or space the Congressman was taking up…in other words…worthless.  That is always a bully’s intention and modus operandi.

When bullies succeed, as they did in Canada, it ends tragically.  When they are rewarded, as would be the case in re-electing Vice President Biden, we validate them, their behavior and abdicate our personal responsibility to stand and say to the perpetrator, “You are the loser. You are the one who is deficient. You are the one lacking in self-respect.  I choose to condemn your behavior and, instead, stand with your intended victim.”

It is, sadly, too late for the teenager in Canada. It’s almost too late for the Nation…but not quite.

I saw President Obama disrespect Governor Romney by refusing to look at him throughout the debate and deeming him not worth the effort to prepare. I saw Vice President Biden disrespect Congressman Ryan by way of interruption and condescension. That’s all I need.

Hope and change?  I have hope and here’s the change we need.

We have a choice on November 6^th.  We can choose to reject the behavior and politics of bullying, name calling and destruction and choose decency instead. By so doing, we will reject the bullies and move toward ushering in a new era of civility in our public discourse. Perhaps when our leaders exemplify respect for one another, our youth will have new models to emulate and the bullies will be relegated to our national dustbin where they belong.

 

It begins.

We are witnessing the beginning of a global insurrection aimed at the downfall of Western civilization as we know it.  This is the end result of strange bedfellows having inadvertently, and in some cases deliberately, combined forces to achieve a common end: global domination.

It will be harder to reign in those forces now that we have been averse to self-correcting and accepting personal responsibility for our individual and collective contributions in allowing the world to lose it moral compass.

We have been gluttonous and greedy. We have feigned ignorance and allowed, in some cases condoned, oppression and suffering. The list of errors and omissions is not limited to the Western world. Eastern and Middle Eastern nations have suppressed and oppressed their own people. They condemned and tortured their own, often in the name of God, while diverting attention to the excesses of the West and blaming it for their own refusal to move into modernity.

Because of our unwillingness to be proactive, we find ourselves playing defense. So the question of the hour is, “How do we respond?” This is my answer.

1. Immediately bring all American troops home. They are overextended and depleted from multiple tours of duty.

2. Congress and the President to immediately cease, and suspend indefinitely, all financial aid to any country that protests against or attacks American interests. They do not deserve out help.

3. Alert the world that we will use our resources only to defend our borders and to support the defense of the State of Israel. They are a true ally and share in our humanity and love of freedom.

4. Above all stay focused upon peace and pray.

Judaism begins its 10-day holy period on September 16^th which ends with the holiest day of the Jewish calendar, Yom Kippur, on September 26^th. On that date, Ahmadinejad sought, and has been granted, the podium at the United Nations. Islamists love anniversaries and holidays. Do not overlook what is in the works. The time for burying heads in the sand is long gone. Awaken to the reality, take responsibility for the outcome, and create a new one before it is too late.

Anyone with a teenager knows that given the opportunity, limits will be pushed. It’s what teenagers do as they attempt to define themselves in contradiction to the generation that precedes them.  And while too much restriction or stifling by parents can harm a teen’s exploration into identity, too little can, and usually does, result in extremist and destructive behavior.

Enter President Obama’s approach to Islamic terrorism.

I wanted to give him the benefit of the doubt. I wanted to believe that he knew that unrestrained Islamists, the Muslim Brotherhood and Ahmadinejad (to name just a few) are dangers to their own countries and the world at large. I wanted to believe he was doing everything he knew to protect Americans and American interests abroad.

However, with each passing failed opportunity…from his silent dismissal of the young Iranian protestors… to his misread of now disastrous and misnamed Arab Spring…. to his recent and insulting refusal to meet with Israeli Prime Minister Netanyahu…my want has been replaced by a certainty that he is either incompetent or an enemy of this Nation.

Again, I prefer to give him the benefit of the doubt and conclude he is incompetent. What I will have a much more difficult time doing is giving anyone the benefit of the doubt who votes to re-elect this incompetent and out-of-touch politician.

In 2008, we knew little about Barack Obama. We knew little because he had done little.  But we looked past his lack of accomplishment, and his race, to trust his words and invest our future in his potential.  In hindsight, his words were vacuous and his potential nonexistent.

We can forgive ourselves our naiveté and our poor investment so long as we don’t make the same mistake again.

If enough of us are unconscious enough to go to the polls on November 6^th and give this man four more years to finish wreaking havoc on the Nation and the world at large, we will  have no one to blame but ourselves and nowhere to call a safe haven from the radicals and terrorists he calls friend.

This will probably be the shortest blog I have ever written…or maybe ever will.  I am watching former President Clinton address the DNC. He is engaging, charismatic, articulate and entertaining.  His plea to the American people is that if we give Barack Obama four more years those who have not yet felt the recovery will do so. And he asked if you don’t believe it…then believe him… because he believes it…deeply.

Believe him? He lied under oath and was disbarred.

Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me.

This morning, talk radio host Glenn Beck was analyzing the speech given last evening at the RNC by Ann Romney. Beck said there’s something electric about ANN Romney and it’s because she’s genuine.

He’s partly correct.

For those of us who have been viewing the world through what some would refer to as a “spiritual” perspective, it’s much deeper and more profound than Beck’s conclusion. It’s also more exciting and hope-filled.

The Divine Feminine aspect of Creation has been suppressed and oppressed for at least 5000 years. With few exceptions, there has been a deliberate and repeated attempt to write the role, and power, of women out of the history of humankind. Oftentimes, when obliteration wasn’t quite possible, denigration was the substitute as in the trafficking of women as sex slaves or the burning of them as witches.

Women’s wisdom (and therefore our unique contribution) was recognized early in Western culture by the Greeks. They were called “philosophers,” a term which has survived millennia, without our ever stopping to realize the name means “lovers of Sophia”…the Goddess of Wisdom.

The return of the Divine Feminine to her rightful place alongside the Divine  Masculine has been a long time coming. Her absence has been the source of an imbalance that has perpetuated thousands of years of aggression, greed and war.  We have waited patiently, hopefully and longingly for her reemergence and recognition.

Ann Romney took the stage at the RNC and stood firmly in her Self.  She was convincing without being overbearing, powerful without being forceful, authentic without being contrived and wise without being didactic. She exemplified what true power looks and feels like. It is power born of experience and strength, tempered by compassion.

Some say they wish she were the candidate. I say let us be aware and grateful that her husband, an example of the drive, aggression and achievement oriented energy of the Divine Masculine has standing by his side this long-awaited and actualized representative of the Divine Feminine.

Together these two balanced energies may actually represent the necessary hope and welcome change we were promised and which has so far eluded us.

 

Note: You have to watch her give the speech (not read or listen) to understand the power of the energy.  Click here to watch the raw video.

As I write this post, the predictors are that Hurricane Isaac, now barreling across the state of Florida toward the Gulf Coast, could result in catastrophic damage to Louisiana equal to that of Hurricane Katrina in 2005.  Not just in the same location but on the anniversary of the Katrina disaster.  Let’s pray otherwise. Since I’m a proponent of the theory that there are no accidents and everything happens for a reason, and since I’ve mentioned prayer, let’s see if there’s any ancient wisdom to be gleaned from the name of this Hurricane.

Isaac was the son of Abraham, the first Patriarch and progenitor of all three major religions. Abraham was told by God to bind Isaac to a rock (Mt. Moriah) and there offer him a sacrifice to God. Although Abraham was distraught at the instruction, it was Abraham’s unwavering faith and trust in God that caused him to come within seconds of slaughtering his own son. But it took more than Abraham’s faith. It took Isaac’s as well. Isaac was 37 years old at the time.

We all know the outcome. At the last moment, God directs Abraham to cease and desist and Isaac goes on to become the second Patriarch of the Jewish People.  So what’s the message Isaac brings?

Our safety, our very survival, is dependent upon our unwavering faith and trust in a benevolent, if not always understood, Creator.  It’s this unwavering faith that is often tested and, when found to be heartfelt, as often rewarded with the protection and well-being promised.

We are going through some rough times and each of us is being tested. There must have been a lesson to be learned from the Katrina disaster that we somehow missed. Perhaps it is about subjugating our Will.  Perhaps it is another attempt by Creator to awaken us in time to the compassion we lack and the priorities we have confused. Perhaps it is to remember that as Abraham and Isaac…we are not separate but in this together.

Regardless of our age or our inclination to doubt, let’s follow the example of Isaac and surrender to the Will of Creator by having trust that there is meaning in the chaos and faith that there will be goodness in the outcome.

In the meantime, pray for those in the path of this Isaac.

There’s a lot of hate speech flying around these days considered to be standard rhetoric for an upcoming Presidential election. The Democrats (via their SuperPACS and minions) have called Mitt Romney a felon, a murderer and a racist while Republicans (via their SuperPACS and minions) have called Obama a Muslim president who hates farming, hates the military and hates the U.S.

It seems differences of opinion or policy are no longer sufficient grounds for debate. Now, its personal. Not only is it personal, but the opponent isn’t just in disagreement he (or she) is wrong, bad and often just plain evil. While personal, political attacks aren’t new (you can read some pretty mean-spirited exchanges between Thomas Jefferson and James Madison) it appears that we’ve reached a new low. Now it doesn’t even matter if they’re true.

So what lessons may there be out there for us regarding hate speech? I’d say the Bible is a good enough place to start.

There are two mitzvot in the Torah that specifically address improper speech: “Thou shalt not go up and down as a tale-bearer among thy people” (Lev. 19:16), and “ye shall not wrong one another” (Lev. 25:17, which according to tradition refers to wronging a person with speech). In fact, on Yom Kippur, the Day of Atonement in Judaism, of the 43 sins specified in the communal confessional prayer, 11 are sins committed through speech.

How we use words must be pretty important since God apparently wanted to be heard on the topic. And, yet, we continue to be reckless and unconscious when we speak.

A war of words is a war none-the-less. As long as we choose to communicate in this manner (or remain silent while others do) we continue to support the foundation for wars of a greater magnitude. After all, a war of words is simply the first step taken (the microcosm) towards the final destination (the macrocosm): war that actually kills.

In case you think this is an overblown and exaggerated conclusion, or too great a leap from a war of words between individuals to wars between cultures or nations, allow me one final spiritual reference.

In the Torah, the gravest of speech-related sins is tale-bearing or lashon ha-ra (literally, “the evil tongue”), which involves discrediting a person or saying negative things about a person, even if those negative things are true. In fact, true statements are even more damaging than false ones, because you can’t defend yourself by disproving the negative statement if it’s true! Some sources indicate that lashon ha-ra is equal in seriousness to murder, idol worship, and incest/adultery (the only three sins that you may not violate even to save a life.

Let’s evaluate this campaign season, and the candidates in particular, by their lack of evil speech.  Let’s give them the message that the last one standing with the electorate will not be the one who perpetuates the hate, but rather the one who promotes the highest good.

Where did all the hated come from? At what point did it become fashionable, even preferable, to lash out through emails, Facebook, editorials, even in person against others whose political or spiritual ideas differ from one’s own? How and why did we close our eyes, bury our heads in the sand, while the Nation “chose up sides” and created two opposing teams based upon the philosophy of “Us Against Them?” Have we been manipulated into intolerance or did we get here on our own?

What, exactly, have we become?

Recently I experienced the stark contrast in the ways in which we can choose to live our lives. I believe our very survival as a country rests upon each of us making the right choice.

On my Facebook page, through a Facebook “friend,” appeared several postings to another page that was titled “Dogs Against Romney.” It is what it’s titled. People who don’t think Mitt Romney should be President because he and his family traveled on vacation with their dog in his cage on the roof of their SUV.  As someone who has spent her life rescuing animals, I understand the outrage (although I’ve seen dogs on motorcycles thoroughly enjoying themselves so whose to judge?) but also commented on the page regarding the narrow and single issue approach to why someone would or would not vote for anyone when we have so many economic and foreign policy issue to address.

Expressing my thoughts was, apparently, my sin. What followed were personal attacks on me, targeting my heartlessness and my obvious hatred for Barack Obama. Neither is true, and both are extreme and personal attacks targeted at me rather than a dialogue about substance.

On the same day, I watched an interview with Chris Williams, a Mormon whose car was struck by a 17-year old drunk driver named Cameron White (also a Mormon). The accident instantly killed Williams’ pregnant wife, their unborn son, 11-year-old son and 9-year-old daughter. Only Williams survived. In the instant that he regained consciousness immediately following the accident and looked around the car, realizing his entire family was dead, he made the decision to forgive whoever had caused this tragedy. The entire story, including the ongoing relationship Williams and White maintain is chronicled in a new book titled “Let It Go.”

Since both the Facebook incident and the Williams/White interview occurred on the same day, I had to ponder the message. I believe that everything happens for a reason, and so I’ve come away with two thoughts…one personal, one Universal.

Personally, I’ve forgiven those who lashed out at me on Facebook for expressing my differing opinion and send them nothing but love and blessings in return. Universally, we need to awaken from this sleep of illusion that we are all separate, that we can treat one another any way we please and if that includes anger, hatred and even violence we can somehow survive and prosper.

As difficult as it is to comprehend Williams’ forgiveness, it is none-the-less a reality and a clear message about the powers of forgiveness and love. Forgiveness  (and tolerance) heal and we have become a critically wounded species. It is our only cure.

Refuse to be seduced by both the political war and the social media illusion that “I can attack you from a distance and somehow walk away myself unharmed.” We are all connected. Until we understand, accept and act upon this reality we will continue to try and destroy one another with words and weapons.

The saying is true.

United we stand, divided we fall.