Archive for the ‘Behavior’ Category

>     I once studied with a spiritual teacher who suggested to me that when I see something in a store that I want to buy I should go away, even if for no longer than it takes to walk around the block, then return and decide if I still want it. He said to do otherwise, to buy in the moment of desire, is to be bought by the object of your desire. “Without reflection, you will never own it,” he warned. “It will always own you.”
    I recalled his teaching in recent days as I continue to listen to all the dire economic news and predictions of the decreasing value of the U.S. dollar’s purchasing power. No doubt we are moving into times of economic restraint. I think it’s a good thing.
    Why?
    Because we Americans love to consume. We love it so much that, somewhere along the way to Now, we lost all perspective and jumbled our priorities. We became, as my spiritual teacher so presciently warned, enslaved to the very act of “having.”  It is my experience that we can either be enslaved to the outer life, with it’s web of desires, or in service to Our Higher Selves.
    When enslaved to the outer life of desire, “more” is never enough…as a dear friend used to be fond of saying. When either the sheer accumulation of material things, or the quest for fame, is both the motivating force as well as the goal, there is no amount of materialism or notoriety that can satisfy the hunger. For it is a hunger. It is a misunderstood need, and futile effort, to close a gap that can only be closed in service to others.
    It is the difference between lust and love. In lust, we cannot get enough. In love, we cannot give enough. Which is why all the great spiritual Masters have tried to teach this Universal Truth. Which leads me to another of my spiritual teacher’s sayings.
    “Fake it ’til you make it.”
    If you have been enslaved, as so many of us are, to wanting and getting and having… it will not be automatic, or necessarily easy, to shift to a mindset of giving. It may be even more difficult to believe that through giving of yourself you will become more satisfied and more enlivened that ever before in your life. So, this is where “faking it” comes into play. Proceeding on blind faith, give anyway. Give without reservation of your time, your money, your love.  Give until you don’t have to think about giving but have simply become giving. Then you will have moved past faking it and genuinely arrived at the purpose of All Life. 
    Give as the Sun gives without thought, question or expectation.
    Then, perhaps the next time you’re in a store and see something you want to buy, you’ll take that walk around the block…think of someone or something in need…and find that you’d rather spend yourself in service than find yourself enslaved.  

Remember to click here to download my FREE e-book, “Too Many Secrets.”

>     The economic news has almost everybody talking about recession. Last month alone 80,000 people lost their jobs. Oil prices keep climbing with no end in sight. And the U.S. dollar continues to lose it’s value. What’s a person to do?
    I was pondering this very question today when two stories came to mind.
    One is about Alan Greenspan. As a youth, he was a musician who sought to make his livelihood playing in a band. Trouble was, the band had another member who was so good at the saxophone that Greenspan instinctively knew he’d never make it. Preempting the inevitable, he dropped out, went back to college, got his degree, and went on to advise four United States Presidents over a 20 year period as Chairman of the Federal Reserve Board.
    The other story is about Lisa Scottaline. Lisa was a practicing criminal defense lawyer for a large law firm in Philadelphia, married, literally having just delivered her first child when her husband walked into the hospital room and told her he was leaving her for another woman. Lisa quit the firm to stay home with the baby, used up her savings, was $30,000 in credit card debt when she began writing fiction for lack of what to do at home. Today, Lisa is one of the best known and most successful authors of legal fiction in the U.S.
    So why did these stories come to mind contemplating what appears to be weak economic news?
    The answer is that whether it’s the economy, or not enough talent for a desired goal, or an uncaring husband…every life change is an opportunity and a gift if only you use it to be the best you can be. Sure, we all have set ideas about how things are going to work out. Sometimes, they do. Most often, they don’t. Most often, Life unfolds with unforeseen twists and turns that ask of us that we be flexible and creative but most importantly, trusting. The real issue, after all, is “Can you trust that within every occurrence, no matter how unfathomable on it’s surface, there exists within it the potential for the highest good for all concerned?”
    Yes. I said potential. 
    Nowhere is there a guarantee that the outcome will, in fact, be the highest good. That’s up to you and me. We get to decide how we’ll handle what comes our way. It’s called Free Will. Free will is nothing more than freedom of choice. Do you choose to wallow in the muck of what appears to be adversity or do you rise up and seize the moment to propel you and those around you to higher ground?
    Alan Greenspan could have spent his life playing second fiddle (no pun intended) to that other very talented young man in the band…who, as it turned out, was Stan Getz (for those of you old enough to remember a musical giant). Lisa Scottaline could have left her daughter with daycare and kept practicing law, remaining bitter towards men. And every one of the 80,000 people laid off last month has the same choice. They can wallow or rise up.
    I never write in a vacuum…or espouse anything I do not truly feel. I am in the middle of a divorce and, therefore, in need of increased income. But not for one moment do I ever think that it’s all bad luck and what, pray tell, will become of me.
    Deep down at the core of my Being is a knowing that I am in the middle of a miraculous opportunity that holds the potential for gaining wisdom and achievement beyond my imagination.
    I have neither the time nor the inclination to wallow.
    I’m too busy heading for higher ground.

REMEMBER to click here to download my FREE e-book, “Too Many Secrets.”

>     I received an interesting comment to Gold Post It today. It was from a man who had “bookmarked” my blog and had apparently been reading it daily. He said that he had done so because of my “pithy” style of writing. However, he was quite put off by a recent blog in which I made the observation that my soon-to-be-ex-husband doesn’t have a friend.
    The reader shared with me his opinion that of course, “everyone has a friend” so I must therefore be bitter. He further concluded that my bitterness is coloring my perception and causing me to be “out of touch.”  He informed me that he is removing the bookmark and plans never to read my blog again.
    Wow. I must have touched a nerve.
    However, as with every other topic that I write about, I will try and find the highest good for all concerned in this occurrence as well.
    First, his reaction.
    I think that whenever we feel the need to make someone or something either all “good” or all “bad”…well, apart from the separation we cause by “judging”…there’s the whole issue of denying that there’s anything at all to be gained or learned…even in the face of some aspects that may not be to our liking.
    I prefer to take the Zen approach that the Buddha could be your grandmother cooking chicken soup at the stove…so be aware because you never know where help, or wisdom, may come from.
    Obviously this reader has, until recently, enjoyed the way I see things, or at least the way I express myself in relating how I see things. So maybe my substance, or perhaps my style, caused him to think in a new way or in a way that enlivened him.
    But not any more.
    Simply because he read an observation of mine with which he disagrees he needs to make me “wrong”, “bitter” and “out of touch.” There is no room in his reality for others with whom he disagrees. Certainly his choice to make.
    I suspect it can get mighty lonely in there.
    As for my observation about my husband. I stand by it’s accuracy. I have 16 years of first-hand experience to back it up. But here’s the thing. I wasn’t judging him.
    The observation was made in the context of a blog about the priceless benefit of surrounding ourselves with friends whose values and behavior support the highest good in us. The observation about my husband was simply in stark contrast to the crux of the story which was about the my daughter’s much improved behavior as a result of having spent time with some pretty wonderful kids.
    So, I would like to thank the man who e-mailed me his comments for giving me this opportunity to find higher meaning in a personal attack.  Unfortunately, he’ll never get to experience my gratitude as I’ve been banished from his reality.
    I guess this is what is meant by the adage “be careful not to throw the baby out with the bath water.”

REMEMBER to click here to download my FREE e-book, “Too Many Secrets.”
    
    
    

>     The best examples are always the ones from real life.
    This past weekend I had an opportunity to experience the importance of friendship and the influence of peer groups. It was an event that involved my daughter but the message provided transcends both age and gender.
    A many of you know from prior entries my daughter, Zoe, is 15 years old and goes to an affluent suburban high school in New Jersey. She’s a typical teenager who struggles with all the routine personal and social challenges of her age group. Fortunately, she is in the theater program at this very large school and so, for the most part, her friendships have been formed around this common interest. This helps for the children are creative by nature and share theater as a main focus of their school, and after-school, lives. It does not, however, guarantee anything about ethics, morals, or behavior.  As a general rule, those areas remain the ones of greatest challenge to parents.
    It’s around these issues of ethics, values and behavior that I witnessed something remarkable this past weekend.
    Zoe’s best friend is a neighbor, Emily, who is a year older than she. They met and became friends when we moved here 7 years ago. Both were in public school for these past years and Emily would have been a Sophomore at the same school as Zoe this year but for her decision to transfer to a religious day school. Emily’s decision was based upon her discomfort with the cliquishness and materialism of the girls at the public high school.  As a result of the transfer, Emily has become much more religious and attends services every Friday night and Saturday.
    This past Friday night, Emily’s family invited Zoe and I to join them for Sabbath dinner. It was a heartwarming evening and it was hard to miss Emily’s apparent ease with voluntarily assisting her Mother whenever she could. The next morning, Zoe went to services with Emily and some of the other girls in the neighborhood who also attend the religious day school. The girls stayed long after services were over to help the Rabbi’s wife serve lunch, clean-up and care the her 6(!) toddlers.
    Now here comes the lesson.
    Zoe, as I said, is a typical teenager. Everything I say is generally either flat-out ignored or just plain wrong because I “don’t get it.” Every chore she’s asked to do goes undone unless it’s under duress. However, after spending Friday night watching Emily help her Mom and Saturday with the girls assisting them in helping out the Rabbi’s wife in any way they could, Zoe was like a different child. On Saturday night she helped with dinner, cleaned up after the cats, helped clean up after dinner and voluntarily performed several other chores without being asked. She was also more affectionate than usual.
    This isn’t a fairy tale it’s real life so, no, Zoe’s changed behavior hasn’t lasted. But what’s important about it is that there’s no doubt that the influence of her peers was readily observable.  In this instance, it was an influence for the highest good. This is not always the case with children based upon their associations.
    It’s true that we don’t always have a say about who our kids hang out with… but it’s also true that we probably have more influence than we think. I can make a concerted effort to cultivate my association with the families of the girls Zoe hung out with and I can further make an effort to attend services more often.  I can, and did, praise her for her helpfulness.
    I have always tried to let Zoe know that I value my friends as priceless gifts from the Universe. I am also hopeful she sees that the values and behavior of the women I chose to befriend are consistent with my own.  In contrast, my soon-to-be-ex-husband has no friends, not a single one. As such, he has never had the benefit of the support system friendships can provide in helping us become the best we can be.
    This past weekend reminded me of the powerful influence that those around us have upon our own actions. While I’m not saying others absolutely define us, I am saying that we are all human and subject to the effects our environments and associations have upon us.
    The lesson is to know with certainty that it pays to be alert and aware of who we spend our time with and what we are both learning…and teaching…in the process.

REMEMBER to click here to download my FREE e-book, “Too Many Secrets.”
    

>Some people like to call them coincidences. I prefer the word synchronicity. Not only is it more poetic sounding but to me synchronicity implies an intention, or order, that coincidence lacks.  A coincidence is a lucky, random act. In my world there are no random acts. Everything has a purpose. Hence, synchronicity. 
    Now, to what occurrences am I referring? These would be an e-mail I received and a request by my 15-year-old daughter which, yesterday, both occurred within hours of each other.
    The e-mail was a notice that a blog Carnival to which I sometimes submit is having an upcoming “theme” carnival based upon “a revolution of one.”  The request by my daughter was that I write a blog completely about her. And so, this is it.
    This is a blog about how one person changed my life and how, someday, if she sets her mind to it, she will probably change the world.
    I was single until I was 43. We adopted our daughter from China when I was 45. Up until that time, I had been practicing Family Law and thought I knew what having children was all about. Last laugh was on me. There is, of course, no way of knowing what it’s like to raise a child until you actually do it.  But this is not a blog about child rearing.
    It’s a blog about Zoe.
    Zoe is creative and bright and willful and lazy and challenging and she can put me over the edge in a heartbeat. But here’s the thing. Her presence demands of me that I be vigilant around my integrity and diligent in my spiritual growth because they’re the things I ask of her. There’s no room for me to ambiguous or hypocritical because her eyes are the mirror that reflect back to me exactly how my Soul is faring on this path called Life.
    Perhaps many parents feel this way about their child and I’m just making more of it because this one is mine. But there’s another quality Zoe has that I believe sets her apart and it’s that very quality that is the reason she will make that difference in the world I mentioned.
    Zoe feels for the suffering of others.
    Ever since she was a small child, she has wanted to give away her money or things to street people or someone in need. She was no more than 8 or 9 when she drew an elaborate and welcoming residence where she said she would someday “provide free, temporary housing for families who had lost their home or were down on their luck and needed some time and a place to get it together again.” She has always been the first one at school to reach out to the hurt or ostracized child.
    Zoe has a winning combination, I believe. She has empathy and a Will that doesn’t quit. When she combines those two with her innate creativity there can be little that will deter her. I often think of the Barry Manilow song, “One Voice” and how it speaks to the contagious power of One.  I think Zoe has that “inner voice” and the world awaits it’s call.
    So, you’ve just read the result of synchronicity. It’s my entry to the theme blog Carnival of “a revolution of one” and it’s also my gift to Zoe.

REMEMBER to click hereto download my FREE e-book “Too Many Secrets.”
    

>     In July 2007 I wrote a piece about J.K. Rowling and the Harry Potter Series, concluding that I thought her personal story was perhaps even more important than Harry’s. Now, eight months later, with the recent disclosure that she contemplated suicide prior to writing the series, I’m convinced I was right.
   While truth may not always be stranger than fiction…it’s almost always more inspiring.
   What Rowling’s disclosure does is bring to light, and out of the shadows, the emotional struggle so many people go through when Life seems to “pile on” a seemingly never-ending set of adverse circumstances.  Further, and perhaps more importantly, is the awareness that without an outlet for creativity, blocked energy can fester and create a toxic internal environment.  Rowling didn’t really want to die, but she had a bundle of external adversity coupled with a bundle of blocked creativity. The combination is deadly…a recipe for dis-ease. 
    It’s important to be aware that while we usually think of dis-ease as being of the body, it can most certainly be of the mind as well.  Rowling was so “dis-at-ease” that thoughts of death were perceived by her to be a viable option in ending her dis-comfort.  Of course, hers was a mis-perception.
    Matter, energy, is neither created nor destroyed only redistributed.  Thank you, Albert.  I won’t go too far out on a limb here and get into what would have happened to Rowling’s dis-ease and her as-yet-unexpressed-creativity had she actually followed through with thoughts of suicide. Suffice it to say that once she opened the channel to her creative energy and allowed it to freely flow, not only did she move beyond thoughts of suicide but also created for herself unimaginable wealth that alleviated all of that external adversity she had been experiencing as well.
    A miracle healing, one might say, on many levels!
    What I take away from the real life story of J.K Rowling is this:

    1.  If you give in and give up, success may have been but a day away.
    2.  Creativity is the elixir of Life. Without it you can die of starvation.
    3.  External conditions are the manifestation of internal conditions.
    4.  Satisfaction originates within and moves outward, not the other way around.

     I have read that Rowling carried the character of Harry around in her head for years before she began writing the first book. It was her divorce, desperate financial circumstances and need to care for her daughter that finally came together to bring enough pressure to bear upon her that she needed a release of some sort. Turned out to be the release of Harry. Not the release of death.
    Which goes to prove one more important point.
    Life is always about choice. It’s not what happens to you, after all.
    It really is about how you handle it.

REMEMBER to click here to download my FREE e-book, “Too Many Secrets.”

>   It’s not like me to have been “absent” from my blog all week (my last entry was on Monday) but Life kind of got in the way. I think there’s a message or two in the cause of my absence… so here goes.
    I practiced law for 13 years and about 6 years ago my husband, daughter and I moved to New Jersey. I had been licensed in Pennsylvania, where we previously lived, so I couldn’t practice in New Jersey if I had wanted to…and I didn’t.  In fact, for health reasons, I had decided to leave law about a year before we moved.  Since moving to New Jersey, I’ve been on the lookout for a new career.  Problem is that law doesn’t really translate all that well into other professions and it’s been a long, uphill effort. I even entered into two new businesses during that time but they didn’t pan out, either.  My search has never stopped and lately it needed to intensify.
    My husband and I are getting divorced and I must find a way to provide for our daughter and myself going forward.  So, I decided to get a real estate license and go into commercial real estate.  In New Jersey, there is a requisite 75-hour, two week course that ends in an exam. If you pass it, you’re eligible to sit for the State exam that, if passed, gets you your real estate sales license.
    That’s what I’ve been doing for the past two weeks…taking the course. There’s so much to learn in such a short period of time that this week it became overwhelming and I had to bow out of my usual daily blog entry.  I simply had neither time nor energy to write.
    Now, why bore you with this personal saga? Well, because there’s a higher and important message in all of this.
    We think we know the limits of what we can successfully manage and, particularly, what we can emotionally handle.  But Life has a way of intervening at times and giving us the opportunity to stretch our boundaries and surprise even ourselves. Such is my current experience.
    My husband and I are living in the same house during separation and to say “it’s not been easy” is an understatement. So here I am in my 50’s with a history of Fibromyalgia, a stress-related disease, going through a divorce with a less-than-supportive-soon-to-be-ex-husband,  financially challenged, with a teenage daughter, while I attempt to focus on and learn an entirely new field so I can get licensed and build a career.
    What’s my point?
    Well, people who know my situation say they can’t imagine how I am getting through it all. But the point is… I am getting through it all.  Not only am I getting through it, but I’m being given the opportunity to apply the principles I write about such as positive thought, creating your own reality, believing in yourself and your ability to grow beyond externally imposed limitations.
    I can’t say I’m “happy” about what I am going through.  But on some level I actually am joyful to know that Life really doesn’t give you anything you can’t handle. I’m also growing stronger and wiser with each day that I fully embrace the Now of it all and meet these challenges with an eye toward what it is I want to create going forward.
    So the message I would leave you with is that there are no accidents or conspiracies to do us in. There are simply experiences filled with the potential of bringing us ever more present into ourselves and discovering not only Who We Really Are but What We Are Really Capable Of Creating.
    Oh yes. And before I forget…I haven’t been alone. The Source of All That Is has never left my side.
    Now there’s a joy I can hardly describe.

P.S. REMEMBER to click here to download my FREE e-book “Too Many Secrets.”

>    No, it’s not a misspelled word. I meant “Bear” not “bear.” You see, it’s about the news that JP Morgan is acquiring Bear Stearns, the Wall Street Investment firm that seems to be in financial difficulty.  Now this “breaking news” is supposed to feed the fear that the economy is in trouble and we should all worry about our financial security. And that’s certainly one scenario. But allow me to pose another.
    It’s a good time for my caterpillar-butterfly analogy. Every time a butterfly is born, a caterpillar must die.  This fact isn’t inherently good or bad, it’s just a fact.  Well, some might say it’s only bad if you’re the caterpillar…but even in reply to that I would say, not necessarily. Whether it’s you, me or the caterpillar, we are all born with a purpose and our work here doesn’t last forever.  Hopefully, it’s the fulfillment of that purpose that is somehow tied to the completion of our time on earth. If you believe, as I do, that everything that occurs has purpose and is, ultimately, for the highest good of all concerned then whether it’s death or a Wall Street acquisition, things change for the better. While “better” is not necessarily always immediately visible or knowable…a little faith goes a long way in dispelling the fear of change.
     Bear Stearns is a symptom not a fatal diagnosis of the economy and all of Life as we know it.  It’s a symptom that another of the systems and institutional ways of doing “business as usual” isn’t serving us anymore.  So, good.  Let’s get on with it and find out what will serve us better.  We have a choice around this news.  We can feed the fear and panic or we can say to ourselves, “Time for a change. Let me keep a look out for the butterfly. I know it’s coming as certainly as is the sunrise.”
    Sometimes, when I share thoughts such as these I can almost hear some (or several) readers thinking, “What a Pollyanna! Is she living in the real world?”  Well, I’m neither a Pollyanna nor am I delusional.  But I can tell you that they are absolutely correct to ask if I’m living in the real world. The answer is Yes, I am living in it…but not of it.  Meaning that I am learning how to accept the totality of it all while at the same time learning how to Be within it and in relation to it without becoming it.  It’s sort of like being able to discern what you do (as in your work) from who you are (as a uniquely created aspect of God).  I used to be lawyer and I thought that’s who I was. So when I stopped practicing law, I temporarily lost my identity. Fortunately, when I went in search of it, I found that identity inside myself and it had no resemblance to the lawyer I thought I was.
    Similarly, when we can watch the events of the material world unfold around us and not think that the quality of our inner lives will be determined by them, we awaken to the realization that we ARE the butterfly.
    It doesn’t get much more beautiful than that.

REMEMBER to click here to download my FREE e-book, “TOO MANY SECRETS.”

>Fear has many faces, especially in personal relationships. Lately, I’ve been blessed by being able to unmask two of them and I ‘d like to share with you what I uncovered. As my regular readers know I am going through a divorce. Personally, I believe that every experience we have is filled with opportunities to learn important Life lessons. This divorce is no exception.
    What I’ve observed is that my husband and I each have our own brand of Fear that gets in the way of deeply connecting. My particular brand is the need to be right. At the end of the day, so to speak, or the end of a discussion…I have a tendency to make judgments and then to justify those judgments by scoring points in the “see I was right” category. When someone has to “win” there is no room for anyone else at the podium. When there’s no room for anyone else, you’re in it alone.
    I’m afraid to be wrong.
    Not exactly the point of entering into a relationship now, is it?
    My husband, on the other hand, simply cannot see the “moment” through to it’s natural conclusion…however long that moment may be. He only interacts to his pre-set comfort level and, past that point, he’s gone. Sometimes literally…but usually just emotionally.
    He’s afraid of intimacy.
    Not exactly the other point of entering into a relationship, either.
    So you’re thinking,”No wonder they’re getting divorced!” And perhaps you’re correct. But there’s a bigger issue here that goes beyond our relationship.
    It’s the willingness to embrace Life, and others, without pre-conditions, without judgment, and with a commitment to the integrity of the experience without having to control what that looks like or how long it takes.
    I was at the book store recently and observed that there are so many books being published on how to live in the moment, in the Now, that one can hardly keep up. But there’s a reason for this message spilling forth from almost ever direction. I think the single most important “discovery” of our time is the knowledge…wisdom, actually…that being fully present in the moment, and in who you are, while allowing others to do the same is the key to a fulfilling Life as well as to fulfilling your Life’s purpose.
    If there is one lesson I will begin the next phase of my life with, securely embedded in my heart, it is this knowing that judgment and control are two of the faces of Fear and when unmasked, reveal a more complete portrait of what Love looks like.
    I wish us both blessings on our continuing journeys…and I know you do as well.

P.S.   Remember to click here to download my FREE e-book “TOO MANY SECRETS”

>I’ve been doing a lot of radio interviews lately around the topic of drug abuse and attempted suicide, spurred by a recent CDC study on increased suicide rates among teenagers (up 8% after a 22% decline) and the ever-present stores about Heath Ledger, Britney Spears, Lindsay Lohan and other famous people who seem unable to manage their successes and their fame, not to mention their lives.
    I’m some what of an “expert” on the topic of attempted suicide, having attempted it at age 23.
    While I’ve written about that previously, I was asked an interesting question today while being interviewed by Shelley Duffy of KDKA in Pittsburgh. Shelley asked me if I believed that I would have the same views about life that I have today had I not attempted suicide and survived it. My reply was that it’s a hypothetical question that I can never know the answer to. However, I continued by saying that I am eternally grateful for having survived it because every experience we have, and the meaning we bring to it, builds upon the others to shape us into Who We Are and how we approach life.
    As the day wore on, I kept going back to Shelley’s question. I began to think how often I hear people say they “regret” something they said or did and how often people want to forget the painful and difficulty of those times gone by. To the contrary, those times and experiences are the high octane fuel that drives us to new and exciting destinations along the Road of Life. Far from regretting them, we should embrace them and, when helpful, be willing to share them with others. For every experience, and it’s lesson learned, can become a guiding light to others in ways unimagined.
    For many years I did not speak publicly about my attempt. Then, recently, I spoke to 500 students at an area high school. It was very rewarding, as many students came and shared their feelings and expressed their gratitude after each class presentation.
    Then, a few nights ago, I was at the school again because my daughter was performing in the school play. As I was helping set up the refreshments for sale at intermission, two girls walked over to me and said, “Did you speak to us recently?” I had to stop and think for a moment for they caught me off guard. Then I said, “Are you sophomores?” When they replied that they were, I said, “Yes, I did speak to your class about a month ago.” The two of them then shared how they were inspired by my story and each thanked me for the courage to speak up. We exchanged a few more words and then went on our respective ways.
    From a purely selfish viewpoint, I cannot tell you how gratifying that encounter was. Here it was weeks after the presentation and they not only remembered me but needed to share how it had impacted them. From a more altruistic viewpoint, I am humbled by the many twists and turns my life has taken, some smooth…others rocky and painful…but all combined to bring me Here and Now where I can be of service by providing hope where it may be sorely, and temporarily, lacking.
    So, what if I had never attempted suicide?
    I’ll never know that answer and I don’t need to. I did attempt it and I did survive it. The meaning I bring to that experience is all that matters. For me, the meaning is that there are no accidents, there is purpose in everything, we need the patience to let that purpose unfold and when it does, to bravely step up and assume the role we were born to fulfill.
    No “what ifs” ands or buts.
P.S.   Remember to click here to download my FREE e-book “TOO MANY SECRETS”