Archive for the ‘Behavior’ Category

The past two weeks have been challenging.  First recovering from a virus followed by a sprained shoulder… it’s been a lot of “non-activity” to ask of someone who is inclined to always be working on something. However, since I make it a practice to walk my talk I have to ask myself, “What is the higher lesson to be learned here?”

I think I have it.  The Universe has a rhythm.  In order to successfully live within the Universe, and in harmony with its rhythm, requires us to feel it and more importantly align with it.

I have a tendency to try to move things at my own pace.  This translates into impatience.  It’s kind of funny that I still find myself impatient since I tell my clients that impatience is “the absence of trust in Divine Timing manifested as a need to control outcomes.”

You’d think I’d remember and follow my own advice.

But, like everyone else, I have an ego that occasionally enjoys getting in my own way.  When I fail to recognize or acknowledge the rhythm of the Universe (also known as Divine Timing) I am under the illusion that my will can oppose Thy will and prevail.  And while I use terminology that is religious or spiritual to make the point, it’s somewhat misleading.

Energy is the source of All That Is, including us.  When we fail to align with the Universal or cosmic flow of energy, it’s like attempting to swim upstream.  Better to move in tandem with that energy, or wait it out, until there is a change of either speed or direction that is more supportive of where it is we want to go.

Nature is great example.  Plants have no ego.  They have a time to germinate, a time to grow, a time to bud and a time to bloom.  They make no effort to impose alternate timing or an alternate outcome.  If I can take some liberty and attribute to them a quality they may not exactly have… they trust the Universe.

I think someone tried to tell us to do the same when they said “To everything there is a season…”.

So, its now two weeks into this “slow down period” and the smartest thing I can do is align with it.  Having tried to do otherwise for these past fourteen days, I’ve decided today to begin doing just that.  I meditated for half an hour this morning and now have written this blog.  It is 10:30am.  I am about to spend the rest of the day on the sofa reading, watching uplifting DVD’s and… well…  not much of anything else.

Except awaiting a change of speed and direction, that is..

Like the rest of the world I watched with rapt attention and welling emotion as the last, heroic Chilean miner was lifted from the collapsed mine after being trapped for 69 days. Defying logic and the odds, all 33 men survived an unimaginable nightmare and did so with both grace and dignity intact.

Two thoughts come to mind.  1) There are no accidents, and, 2) there are only two emotions, love and fear.

I have always been a believer that everything happens for a reason… even those things that seem to make no sense at all.  For while we may not be able to make sense of some events or personal experiences, everything that happens offers the potential for growth.  This is Life.

And so, in a world adrift economically, politically, and socially… 33 miners show us how to defy the odds, rise above limitation and scant resources, and accomplish the impossible.

But there’s more.

What the recent rescue teaches us is the power of Love.  In a world so long enamored with the love of power, this is a much needed lesson.

The people of Chile are apparently of hearty stock, with an indomitable spirit, national pride, passion for life, unshakable belief in God, and comfort with the expression of emotion regardless of gender. Love of life, love of country, love of one another and love of God.

And the complete absence of fear.

I did not hear or see fear anywhere.  Not among the trapped miners, not by the President of Chile, not by the waiting family members who camped out in the desert for months on end. Fear was absent in Chile and in the absence of fear, miracles occur.

There are no accidents.  What we have witnessed in Chile is a lamp unto the nations… the hand of God… reaching out to guide us in the direction of all that is good.

May we pay attention, set our intentions, and proceed with unbridled love.

I’m not an historian. In fact, I’ve never been interested in reading history and yet I do mass quantities of reading whenever I can. So it was very unusual that I recently found myself reading The Real George Washington published by the National Center for Constitutional Studies.

It was even more unusual that I could not put the book down.

It seems the real George Washington was not someone I was ever exposed to throughout my 20 years of public and private education. The real George Washington was a pillar of physical and moral courage since unmatched. It’s almost impossible to briefly reference his remarkable, and sometimes miraculous, accomplishments as they were so numerous. In fact, when the authors tried to do just that after 601 fact-filled pages, it took them 3 pages to just outline them in list form!

However, what has had the most impact upon me, given our current state of political disrepair, was Washington’s disdain and even fear of political parties. The then Federalist and Republican parties were born of the irreconcilable philosophical differences between Alexander Hamilton and Thomas Jefferson. Washington did what he could to bring them together but to no avail.

His foresight led him to fear for the destructive influences of political parties and he spoke “in the most solemn manner against the baneful effects of the spirit of party… This spirit, unfortunately, is inseparable from our nature, having its root in the strongest passions of the human mind. The alternate domination of one faction over another, sharpened by the spirit of revenge natural to party dissension,…is itself a frightful despotism… A fire not to be quenched, it demands a uniform vigilance to prevent its bursting into a flame, lest instead of warming it should consume.”

So here we are now being consumed by the very fire of which he spoke.

While many are hoping the November mid-term elections return control of the House and the Senate to Republican hands so as to place a check upon this President’s agenda, I hold out no such illusion.

It matters not which of these two parties control either the House or the Senate since they have both become so internally corrupted and adversarial for opposition’s sake alone, that the cure is not either but neither.

Perhaps we should be seeking another George Washington… or the equivalent amount of courage and integrity within ourselves… to put forth a solution that does away with both these ailing dinosaurs we call “Republicans” and “Democrats.”

Perhaps it’s time to actually, and finally, live the words:

“One Nation under God, indivisible, with liberty and justice for all.”

Humanity is a Complex Adaptive System.  Simply put, when a butterfly flaps its wings in New York City, wind patterns change in Jakarta.  Or, returning to my statement about humanity, when one individual changes the way he or she does, thinks or feels about something, it necessarily impacts and changes the way all human beings are, think and behave. 

Humans are an independent, diverse, interactive, co-creative, and constantly changing force wherein change by one impacts the many.  Again, simply put, you are not only composed of matter… you actually matter.

Our world is a compilation of energetic patterns.  Patterns, by definition, repeat themselves.  So, if you use your life force, or energy, in the same way over and over you are guaranteed to perpetuate whatever pattern you’re creating.  Only by changing something within the pattern will you change the result… or more accurately… will you create a new pattern.

Change, however, isn’t something you want to react to.  Change is something you want to be.  When you are forced to react to change, the change has already occurred.  Once that happens you find yourself in the unenviable position of playing “catch up” to Life’s circumstances.  However, if you are the change you actually want to occur, you become the agent of change rather than the object of change.

So, take a look around your life.  How’s it going?  Do you feel empowered or disempowered?  Are you feeling at the mercy of events or as the force behind the conception and inception of events?  Are you resisting change or initiating it?

These times are truly revolutionary.  “Revolution,” as with any word, is only as powerful as the meaning we give to it.  The word revolution has several words hidden within it if you creatively rearrange its letters around to form new words.  (I often do this as a kind of mental gymnastics but also as an insightful guide into hidden meanings).  What I found in “revolution” are the following sets of words:

     1.  Vile revolt; to lure into evil; to lie; to rile; to rule.

     2.  To toil into the root to true love.

Let’s explore them one at a time using the above words.

     1.  Revolution can manifest as a vile revolt whose few proponents will lie and purposefully rile others in order to lure them to an evil end resulting in oppressive and manipulative rule over the subjugated majority.

     2.  Revolution can be a person or group willing to toil ceaselessly and diligently to unearth fundamental truths by getting to the root of existence… which is light energy emanating as true love.

I think we’re in a revolution of the second kind.  At least that’s the revolution I’ve signed up for and since we’re a complex adaptive system… therefore I matter… how I am, think and behave during the revolution matters. You see, I’m an agent of change. 

How about you?

Today I watched Speaker of the House of Representatives, Nancy Pelosi, on ABC News “This Week. ”  What was obvious to me as I listened and watched were the severe limitations she is constrained by due to the disease from which she suffers: Myopia.

Myopia is defined as “A visual defect in which distant objects appear blurred because their images are focused in front of the retina rather than on it; nearsightedness. Also called short sight. 2. Lack of discernment or long-range perspective in thinking or planning”

While I am not a physician, I feel confident in the diagnosis.

It is so inconceivable that a public official can, in this volatile and increasingly transparent environment, fail to see the absurdity of continuing to dodge substantive and meaningful questions while reiterating an old, worn out and deceitful message.

The Speaker, limited to an old way of thinking and behaving due to the advanced stages of her disease, not only cannot see the future, she can’t even see the present.  She is still blaming the prior administration for the economy, refusing to condemn unethical behavior of her colleagues, and dodging hard questions about mission and intention in foreign policy.  More disturbing, she is in denial or flat out lying about having no concern for her party losing control of Congress in the November mid-term elections.

Perhaps the Speaker should consider recent developments in treating and curing Myopia. 

Those of us moving through the Ascension process and the simultaneous expanding consciousness of the planet have published the short and long-term benefits of a cure identified as “Adaptability and Truthfulness.”

Generally, we are experiencing challenges of “first impression”… meaning we have never faced them before.  Mainly this is the result of global connectivity due to technological advances.  The resulting transparency, and particularly the speed of that transparency, is making it more and more difficult to sustain deceit. 

Those, like the Speaker, who are unable to see beyond the past and adapt to the realities of the present are not only myopic they are terminal. 

Change and transparency as campaign slogans are a far cry from walking your talk.

Either way there are going to be people unhappy with the outcome of the ethics violation findings against Congressman Charles Rangel.  If it turns out there’s no deal, but rather a full trial before the House of Representatives, some will scream it’s a carnival show deliberately created by the obstruction of the four Republican members of the investigative sub-committee.  If, on the other hand, there’s a deal some will scream “foul” and special treatment for the privileged that would not be afforded a more common criminal.

For me, the outcome isn’t the big story.  For me, it’s the long-awaited public airing of the ethical misdeeds and illegal behavior of a sitting member of Congress and, by definition, a representative of the People charged with our trust and well-being.  But as happy as I am at this long-overdue occurrence, I’m not surprised.

You see, I frequently write about the transition we are going through.  Spiritually, it’s referred to as an “ascension process.”  In simpler terms, it’s an expansion of human consciousness encompassing a higher vantage point from which to view our choices. (Did I just say “in simple terms…?”)!

One of the overriding characteristics of an ascension process is that there are no more secrets.  What that means is that behavior that does not support the highest good (read as “deceitful behavior”) will be forced out into the open… or revealed for what it is.

Hence, Charlie Rangel… who for decades has been able to skate by and avoid the consequence of being confronted with his acts.

It would be a wise decision for anyone watching this drama to pay close attention and take heed.  One need not be a public figure or famous to experience the weight of it, either.  Wherever there is deceit in our lives, whether with ourselves or with another… the inevitable outcome will now be revelation.

So like any “outing”… it’s probably best to do it ourselves, first, rather than have someone else choose the time and place.

Human beings, and particularly Americans, are surprisingly compassionate and forgiving of a mea culpa… and equally hardhearted and unforgiving of those who are caught throwing stones while living in glass houses.

Carpe diem.  Make honesty in your life a priority.  Clean up the muddy stuff.  It’s not too late… for you.

Not so Charlie Rangel.

Allow me to preface this by saying that as a woman and former divorce lawyer of 13 years I, in no way, condone domestic violence nor do I think that what Mel Gibson has been tape recorded saying is in any way acceptable.  In fact, he has said things that are deeply disturbing if not legally actionable.

However, how and why we choose a partner is always complex. While it is true that verbal abuse and physical threats are never to be sanctioned, what is often overheard by others not directly involved can be but a partial insight and oftentimes misleading.

The choice for two people to be together, for better or worse so to speak, is a mutual choice.  Hopefully, that choice is made out of want rather than need.  But this is not always the case.  In fact, most people come together seeking to fill a lack or void in themselves in the hope that the presence and love from the other will fill it. This is rarely a conscious intention.  And while its never a good way to find a significant other… it’s a very common and human one.

I speak from experience.

When my marriage began to wither, I became at first frustrated by, and later angry at, my spouse’s emotionally detached behavior.  There was a subtle pattern of emotional manipulation that at times drove me to the brink… although I recognized it only in hindsight.  We stayed together. He manipulated me in a very passive/aggressive way as my frustration and anger mounted.  Ultimately, I yelled a lot and said things I’d retract today if I could.

Listening to the Gibson tapes, I was struck by two things.  First, and most obvious, his rage.  But secondly her calm.  I hear myself in him.  I hear my former husband in her.  After all, what is she even doing having these conversations with him?  Why, after prior encounters with his rage, is she still hot-tubbing with him and sleeping in the same bed?  Why is she so calm knowing it escalates and infuriates his anger? What does that do for her?

I hear him saying (however crudely) that he wants certain things from her.  I also hear her saying (admittedly between the lines) “I am trying to love you but you need help.”

This is a co-dependent, enabling and very destructive relationship at best.  But it’s too easy to get caught up in the blame-game and condemn the loudest voice. 

Both these people need help.  Both need to get to the root of their own personal demons and they definitely need to be apart in order to do that internal work . Something drew them together and that something was powerful.

Now it’s about the constructive and wise use of that power.

I don’t believe in fairy tales.  However, when human beings are willing to go the extra mile and do the tough work, miracles are possible as are happy endings.  I have no idea what that looks like in this matter but I wish them both well and send them both healing.

Recently I met someone in a social situation.  We talked at length about a wide spectrum of topics and had much to share.  It was an interesting and enjoyable experience.  When I suggested that he might enjoy reading some of my blog entries my suggestion was enthusiastically received.

Two days later I receive the following e-mail (to the best of my recollection as I deleted it upon reading it):

“If you think Glenn Beck is a prophet, as you wrote, then I have nothing further to say to you and we have nothing in common. I met him several years ago and he is a money-hungry phony.How anyone can listen to him is beyond me.”

Now this is a highly educated man who owns his own publishing company that publishes a sports magazine in the Philadelphia area.  So it started me thinking about three things: education, small minds and hate.

1.       My thoughts about education are neither unique nor startling.  The amount of years one spends obtaining a formal education correlates to neither common sense nor wisdom.  It correlates to one’s capacity to regurgitate what is being fed, and in the best of cases, to sprinkle that with some creative thinking of one’s own to hopefully generate some modicum of internally-sourced and outside-the-box thinking.  I make this statement absent jealously or resentment since I am one of those educated people, having spent 19 years in formal education on the way to obtaining a Juris Doctor in law.

All those years made me educated, in a specific way, not necessarily wise or open-minded. That requires education of a different sort.

2.       Small minds abound, even among the educated.  Take my acquaintance above.  His reaction is proof that the capacity to ingest and digest factual knowledge is not a reliable indicator of a mind capable of expansive or inclusive thinking.  To do that, one has to possess qualities not taught in school such as compassion, understanding and wisdom.

3.       As for hate… I’ve come to believe it’s the emotion of choice for fearful, unwise, small minded individuals.

Which brings me back to my acquaintance.

He was quick to condemn both Glenn Beck and me for…well… actually… I’m not quite sure for what exactly and I doubt he is either.  However, the irony is that after receiving his inexplicable e-mail I Googled his name.  What I learned was that not too long ago he was indicted and convicted of failing to report income as well as some dubious ethical behavior while working in city government.  At least he had the benefit of representation and a trial before anyone judged and condemned him… and, oh yes, sentenced him to 6 months house arrest wearing a secure ankle bracelet.

So much for education, small minds and hate.

If you read my blog regularly you’d know that I like to close with some pithy comment but, quite frankly, I can’t top the paragraph that precedes this one. Truth may or may not be stranger than fiction but, in this case, its certainly more enjoyable.

As a Spiritual Coach I’m hearing a great deal lately about people not knowing what to do about, or how to handle, all the change and uncertainty that’s in the air. Because I consider myself an expert on facing change (>read that as LOTS of life experience dealing with the unexpected) I’m pretty comfortable giving out advice on how to effectively get through the unknown.

Its simple, really.  Well, simple to understand, anyway.

The secret, and its really no secret at all, is that anytime we are asked to move from where we are comfortable to someplace unknown, fear comes up.  Now some people will say they don’t experience fear. To that I would reply that there are gradations of fear ranging all the way from a mild discomfort to being completely immobilized.  No matter where you fall along that continuum, at either extreme or someplace in between, the remedy is the same.

Patience in the process.
Trust in the Source.
Release of the outcome.

We live in such an accelerated world that we’ve forgotten what it is to wait.  I mean really wait.  Not wait for a seemingly snail’s paced fax to be sent and arrive because, say, e-mail is down.  I mean really wait.  As in lovingly wait for Nature… or God… or Life to take Its course.  Not only don’t we know how to wait, we don’t even realize that the act of waiting…particularly done in annoyance or frustration… is an impediment to living fully in the present.

That’s where Trust comes into play.  If you can accept that change is inevitable… which it is… and trust that all change is for the highest good… which it is… then there’s no need for impatience.  Because things will unfold as they are intended and. while that’s completing itself. you can go about fully engaged in everything that’s in your life at the moment without care or concern for the outcome.

With patience in the process, trust in the highest good, and absent care or concern for the outcome there is no need or place for fear.

As I said. Simple to understand. Challenging to live.  But since I’ve done it many times, so that its become second nature so to speak, I can tell you with certainty it works.

Give it a try.  It sure beats the alternative.
 

Two phrases frequently repeated on the spiritual path are “the ascension process” and “paradigm shift.”  Often repeated… but not often understood. 

The ascension process refers to a period when the consciousness of a Soul, or many Souls, is elevated to new and expanded realms of understanding and possibility.

A paradigm shift is movement out of, and beyond, one framework of reality into another.

We are currently in the middle of both the ascension process and a paradigm shift.  Therefore, there are four qualities and characteristics that apply and that we can count on during such a transition. 

Infusion of Light

Light is energy.  Light illuminates.  Light obliterates darkness.  Light is intelligence.  Where the Light goes, obscurity is revealed.  “Darkness” in the context of spirituality is manifested as deceit, greed, arrogance, misuse of power, and oppression… among others. 

With the infusion of spiritual Light during the ascension process all that does not support higher consciousness is revealed.

No more secrets

General McChrystal … BP … open microphones for Joe Biden and Carly Fiorina …  Bernie Madoff … Obama appointee and jobs czar Van Jones having co-founded  the militant and revolutionary organization STORM… brothers John and Tony Podesta : John, CEO of the Center for American Progress advising President Obama on off-shore drilling in the Gulf and brother Tony, lobbyist for B.P. (can anyone say “conflict”?)…and the list goes on and on. 

So why are so many things surfacing that clearly were supposed to be kept secret?

It’s because during the ascension process there are no more secrets. 

Personal responsibility

Being unconscious is a little like being a child. Someone else needs to take responsibility for your actions.  Not so when we’re spiritually conscious and awake.  Now is the time to own that our every thought and action determines, in a literal sense, the reality in which we live, the quality of our relationships, as well as the world we are bequeathing the next generation.

Duty to question

Being responsible means questioning the status quo.  It’s no longer productive to be part of a “herd” mentality… to go along to get along.  Courageous inquiry is the watchword of the new paradigm into which we are moving.  

So why write about corruption and you?

Because it’s up to us now.

A good friend recently expressed being overwhelmed by it all and his feeling that, other than the ballot, we individuals are helpless in the face of so much obvious governmental and political corruption.  I would tell him this.

Things are probably no more corrupt today than they have been for a very long time.  What has changed is 1) access to the information; 2) the speed of dissemination of that information and, 3) the paradigm shift.  For just as the new paradigm has no room for that which is not in the highest good, so too does it require that each of us, on a daily basis, demand the highest integrity from ourselves and never fail to speak truth…your truth… to power.

I’m optimistic.  Change, while scary, is always for the good.  It just takes us awhile to gain the distance, and corresponding perspective, needed to be certain of this fact.

In the meantime, while you’re waiting, be the Light.