Archive for the ‘Behavior’ Category

This one is personal.

Time Magazine’s cover story this week is “Sex, Lies and Arrogance:  What Makes Powerful Men Behave So Badly?”  It’s been prompted by the recent revelations of Arnold Schwarzenegger and the alleged criminal behavior of Dominique Strauss-Kahn.  Perhaps, if we use the moment wisely, and exhibit more than the attention span of a five year old, we as a nation (and maybe even a globe) can finally embark upon a long-overdue discussion upon which literally rests our future.

It goes something like this. Women are not property and no one, confidant or stranger alike, has the right to take what they want when doing so infringes upon the person of another.

That’s part one.

Part two is that an exclusively male dominance in ruling nations, setting governmental policy, establishing religious tenets, administering academic institutions, controlling the private business sector and even writing history, for over two thousand years, has resulted in a world woefully out of balance.

The attempt to subjugate, demean and obscure the Divine Feminine role in everything from Creation to spouses has led us to the precipice of moral blindness and, potentially, the inevitable extinction that must follow.

Poor behavior and shameful choices require neither financial success nor notoriety.  Someone I knew and trusted, a very ordinary guy of average means, tried to rape me.  While so doing, he actually expressed his belief that “our relationship” gave him the right to have sex if he wanted it.  My rights didn’t seem to be a consideration.  Miraculously, while being physically overpowered, I had the presence of mind to somehow speak and act in a way that gave him pause, which allowed me to ultimately escape the moment.  I will never understand how I had the ability to forgive him, which in my heart I did, although it changed my ability to trust him.  In hindsight, he said it never happened… but denial is one of many mechanisms for abdicating personal responsibility when the truth is too painful to bear.

In the final analysis, sex, abuse of power, violence, greed, deception…a whole host of behaviors… are about Free Will.  They’re about the choices we make every minute of every day because every choice is an act of self-definition.  We are who we choose to be.

If male energy is about survival, and if left unchecked mutates into dominance, then it’s time we acknowledged and, yes, honored the critical and necessary standing due female energy, which is about nurturing and compassion.  Together these energies co-create a framework in which their combined efforts exceed, by leaps and bounds, what either could accomplish alone.

Co-Creation. Balance of Power. The Divine Feminine. The Sanctity of Male and Female Alike.  These are the timely and necessary topics of discussion.  Without such discussions, and without resurrection of the Divine Feminine role in co-creation, we are all dinosaurs on the brink of extinction.

 

 

 

Lately, there is much talk of personal responsibility.  Perhaps nowhere is this concept more relevant than when applied to our thoughts.  As we look around the globe at social, economic, and political conditions it seems appropriate to ask, “What are we doing, or not doing, that is directly related to what we are experiencing?”

But what if the same question is equally relevant to the escalation of violent weather conditions we are experiencing worldwide?  What if we are causing those conditions, not by global warming or disregard for natural resources, but by our thoughts?

At the quantum level, physicists have proven that the conscious presence of an observer affects and changes the outcome of the event being observed. Consciousness, awareness, is energy that affects matter. “Pay attention”… that admonition you often heard repeated as a child… now takes on new meaning.  Your attention is energy.  How you use it, where you place it, matters. Literally.

We have the freedom, Free Will, to place our attention on anything we choose. When millions, maybe even billions, of people place their attention on the same thing, the effect is likely to be profound.

Which got me thinking.

It’s often said by environmentalists and others that Earth and weather upheavals in the form of volcanoes, tornadoes, earthquakes, tsunamis, warming, hurricanes and the like are “Mother Earth” telling us, in her own inimitable way, that She has had enough.  But what if Earth and Nature are not reacting to our behavior, but to our thoughts?  What if as we think imbalanced and violent thoughts we create  imbalanced and violent Earth conditions?

What if the more people who think violent thoughts then the more extreme and widespread are manifested Earth conditions?

Maybe President Obama and others want to rethink encouraging “revolution” across the globe.  Change need not be violent unless we choose it to be.  Maybe we ought to rethink how we communicate and apply certain words and concepts.  Maybe thoughts are things which, once given voice, are made real. Maybe all the violent change humanity seems to be experiencing globally starts in our minds.

Perhaps starting today we each can be more circumspect around what we think and say.  Perhaps there is good reason to put an end to watching, and thereby energizing with your attention, the violence the media loves to disseminate.

A Native American proverb makes the point.  A grandfather talking to his young grandson tells the boy he has two wolves inside of him struggling with each other. The first is the wolf of peace, love and kindness.  The other is the wolf of fear, greed and hatred. “Which wolf will win, grandfather?” asks the young boy.  “Whichever one I feed,” is the reply.

Today, by your thoughts, starve violence and feed peace.

Personal Responsibility starts there.

 

For a new way to think about personal responsibility, language and global change see my new book The Lightworker’s Handbook: A Spiritual Guide to Eliminating Fear. CLICK HERE to learn more.

I don’t want to believe that Barack Obama means to intentionally disrespect the Constitution of the United States, destroy out international alliances and jeopardize the security of Israel and so I won’t believe those things. 

Instead, I choose to believe (Free Will) that he is an individual lacking in a core understanding of who he is and what he believes in.  This was my conclusion after reading A Bound Man by Shelby Steel in 2008 and why I did not vote for him that year.  It was later reinforced when I read The Roots of Obama’s Rage by Danesh D’Souza, a well-documented and intelligently thoughtful analysis of Obama’s heritage, life and character.

This core lack in Obama makes him not so much vulnerable to outside pressures, as some have asserted, but subject to the hunger and need of his own ego.  When the vessel has a hole in it, no amount of water can fill it up.  Lacking core values, Obama gives no weight to the values of others. Consequently, he feels free to override, or altogether bypass, 1) the American public in forcing the passage of Universal Healthcare when 62% of those polled did not want the bill passed; 2) Congress by circumventing the War Powers Act in Libya and ignoring the values set forth by the Founders in the U.S. Constitution and, 3) the Israeli government and its valuing of the safety and lives of its citizens.

It’s unlikely that we’ve had many Presidents who did not suffer from some degree of need to fulfill their egos.  And it’s probably safe to say that more than a fair share of them had huge egos.  But to make a distinction worth noting, it’s not Obama’s ego that makes his Presidency so dangerous… it’s the fact that no amount of railroading, conquest and imposition of his will upon those who oppose him can satisfy that ego.

I once her a psychiatrist explain “A neurotic is the easiest type of patient to treat.  He or she just has an excess of something.  It’s a matter of reducing or minimizing those excesses.  But someone lacking input at critical stages of development is the hardest to treat because you’re trying to put values in where none have ever existed.  There’s no foundation or reference point.”

This description, I believe, describes Barack Obama

It is for those of us who see the present dangers posed by a leadership so lacking to speak our minds and shine a bright light upon the problem.  While he is but one man in the history of a great nation, he has both the bully pulpit and the power at the moment.  If the Great Man theory of history holds true, that great men appear at critical points in history and take the people where his vision leads him, then we have much to concern ourselves with where the vision is highly personal and is born of need.

We must be careful that some version of the rationale people often use when explaining why they don’t fly in airplanes does not wind up applying to our nation’s destiny:  What if it’s not my time but it’s the pilot’s time?

 

I have a friend who cannot seem to stop blaming herself and feeling shame for behavior she has corrected and no longer participates in.   Her shame and guilt act as an ongoing impediment to her making any kind of meaningful progress in her life because she forever doubts her worth as a human being.   And what’s worse, she expends so much energy trying to hide the knowledge of her former behavior from others that she’s grown comfortable living a lie.

Which got me to thinking about the futility and sheer exhaustion of carrying around unnecessary baggage rather than proudly wearing the lessons and benefits of life’s experiences.

When I was 24 years old I tried to commit suicide.  I speak annually to high schools on depression and suicide and also often include reference to the attempt in my many inspirational speaking engagements which cover a variety of topics.  I am never ashamed to mention the attempt because growing past the circumstances and insecurities that led me to try is one of the greatest lessons of my life.  Rather than see the attempt as something for which I should be ashamed, I see it as a triumphal turning point in my own life and an experience that may help save others from such pain.

However, life experiences can only be instructive and helpful if shared.

I believe that we are all here to be a light unto one another.  It serves no one to hide your light.   And if you’ll allow me to expand the metaphor out a bit … it’s through acquiring experience, of every kind, that we get “brighter.”

I wish I could convince my friend that she needn’t cower or hide from the truth of her experiences.  I wish I could gift to her the forgiveness I feel having given my own unconscious behaviors over to God.  But it is right that we each get to a place of awareness and peace within ourselves in our own time.  I can at least take comfort in the fact that we all, do in fact, ultimately get there.

In the meantime, while I cannot help her carry her baggage… I do routinely remind her that when she is ready, she can simply put it down.

 

In a rapidly changing world in which the flow of information by major media outlets is controlled by corporate ownership and investors with an agenda we, the public, are easily manipulated by selective and biased reporting.  Therefore, it is critical that you think for yourself and dig deeper than surface reporting in an effort to be truly informed.

In fact, inner guidance, more than any other source, will be the most reliable place to verify reality.

Example:  The Egyptian Revolution.

President Obama, as well as mainstream and social media, were enamored with the recent revolutionary uprising in Egypt.  Each was certain the uprising was democracy in action and a harbinger of better things to come regarding Middle East relations with the U.S. and Israel.

Now that the dust has settled, so to speak, the reality appears to be something altogether different.  What is emerging from the chaotic aftermath of the riots in Egypt is a very vocal and vehement expression of defiance against the United States and a blatant intention to destroy the State of Israel.

I find two conclusions instructive from events as they have unfolded:

1.  This Administration and the media fueled the flames of uprising with a false premise and now that the winds of change are directing the fire on a deadly path, both are disturbingly and shamefully silent.

2.  Mubarak may have been a dictator but he was also an impediment to Muslim extremism taking hold within Egypt.  (Not to excuse his dictatorial hold on the country, but rather to highlight the possibility that unless you have set in place enlightened leadership or a viable alternative plan for governance, it may be best to bypass revolution as a vehicle for change).

As to my point about inner guidance, I think that as the days of rage unfolded on camera, common sense (or just plain checking in with your “gut”) probably told anyone who was conscious and not living in a fairy-tale-wishful-fantasy world that events in Egypt were at best precarious and at worst foreboding.

Unfortunately, time has proven the latter to be the case.

The most valuable lesson to take away from this experience is that reality is best obtained from within rather than imposed by external sources…  too often motivated by an agenda that is little concerned with our well being.

Let us not behave like sheep but rather individuals who possess the wisdom to tune in within and surf our own channels.

 

 

 

When I read that the military’s code name for Osama bin Laden was “Geronimo” I had an uncomfortable feeling and immediately went to Wikipedia to read the history of the Native American Apache leader.  What I read turned my uncomfortable feeling to disgust.

How insensitive, blind and continually arrogant can we be to perpetuate a false and demeaning stereotype of the wise and spiritual human beings who preceded our very existence on this continent?  How ignorant of our government to choose to identify a mass murderer by the code name of one of the, if not the, most celebrated and honored leaders of a nation?  A man who is legend to his people for his dedication, bravery and mastery.

To me, this shameful choice exemplifies two controlling principles: 1) History is written by the “victors” and 2) Until each of us is willing to honor all peoples and value their unique contributions as part of the “human family” we will continue to be led by those who favor some at the expense of others.

I think the United States government, from our President to the Joint Chiefs, owes a public apology to all Native Americans.  Failure to do so will be yet another blight upon our disregard and continued devaluation of a proud and honorable people.

The resulting shame will be ours and, ironically, give unintended credence to some of the rants of Osama bin Laden… that the West and its leaders are concerned with only their own prosperity and care little for the interests or plight of people of color and differing belief systems.

How sad and ironic, for us, should that be the case.

This is not a post about Osama bin Laden.  It’s a post about you and me.  He’s gone and that’s that regarding him.  However we remain… so how we act, and react, from here on out determines our future.  What also remains are the issues that created a world in which someone like him could develop and be successful, using the term “successful” in its most narrow sense.

In a world where people and nations vie to maximize their health, wealth and general well-being… not only without regard for others but, at times, at the expense of others… there will always be fertile ground in which to cultivate  disease such as bin Laden.  But such a destructive environment is under our dominion and control.  We very much have the power, individually and collectively, to choose again and create a world where every human being’s right to life (basic sustenance) and pursuit of happiness (the possibility that one can better oneself with effort) is guaranteed.

To create such a world we will have to re-prioritize what it is we value above all else.  Such choices will necessarily begin with compassion, dignity, and cooperation.  Such a world will need to be based upon logic that transcends Aristotle’s conclusion that solutions consist of only two options:  “x” or “not x”.   Such thinking leads to dilemma.  An alternative, or tetra lemma approach, considers “x”, “not x,” “x and not x,” or “neither x nor not x.”   In other words, simply put… one or the other or both or neither all become possibilities and thereby broaden the options for resolution.

Egypt wasn’t a spiritual, religious or political revolution.   It was an economic one where 50% of the population is under the age of 24 with no economic future of any consequence.   You cannot make food scarce and eliminate hope for the future without dire consequences.  Such are the elements that foster environments wherein diseased minds rule.

We are better than that.   But what it takes to turn this all around is not only personal responsibility but, first and foremost, personal courage.

Courage to think for ourselves.

Courage to reject systems that do not work.

Courage to speak out about values and policies that devalue others.

Courage to say no to a politically-based “collective” approach wherein the few seek to dominate the many under the guise of leadership.

Courage to speak out for spiritual Oneness, our inherent connection to all living beings, and all that it implies.

Courage to be patient, thoughtful and thorough with the process so sound decisions can be made along the way.

There is no harm in a centralized government.  We have one in this country.  But as it was designed, that central government had very limited power over the individual states that, along with their inhabitants, remain free to pursue individuality and personal creativity within an economic system intended to support growth rather than inhibit it.

Today is a new day and the quality of our choices will determine tomorrow.

Sometimes I wonder about us.  Americans, that is.

What are so many people thinking in seriously considering Donald Trump as a possible Presidential candidate?  It’s Donald Trump we’re talking about here and the Presidency of the United States.

Forget the sudden reversal of political stances he’s taken on such things as gay marriage or Universal healthcare. Forget the contributions he’s made to the campaign coffers of politicians that eschew the word ethics, such as Charlie Rangel, Mark Christ and Harry Reid.  Forget the reality TV host.

This is a man who drove his business into the ground then left creditors hanging as he declared bankruptcy.  This is a man who needs to see his name in 30 feet high gold lettering on everything he touches. This is a man who has made a fortune in business relations with, among others, the purveyors of gambling. This is a man who wants to blame oil producers and OPEC for rising gasoline prices when he’s smart enough to know it’s our own government’s policies and the unrestrained actions of the Federal Reserve that are the cause.  But of course, when the Fed digitizes money to the banks, it’s people like Donald Trump who benefit from his business connections with those same banks… so placing blame where it belongs would be, for him, setting the fire way too close to home.

But I digress.  This isn’t about Donald Trump.  It’s about us.

Did we learn nothing from our naive and shallow vote of 2008?  Are we willing, yet again, to buy into the superficial claims and bumper-sticker promises of politicians (and aspiring politicians) without doing our due diligence in going deeper and demanding not only more substance but also more integrity?

If the answer is “Yes, we are prepared to be so simplistically deceived again” then God help us.  We cannot go down this road even one more time… for we are out of time.  Not to mention out of money.

It’s on each one of us now to put down our egos and our greed and be our highest Selves for the sake of the future.

Call me crazy, but I see no evidence of The Donald putting down either his ego or his greed in the near future… let alone for the sake of yours.  So let’s stop wasting time on him and go in search of real candidates with real solutions who come to the table fully grown with their egos in check and their mission the common good.

There are lots of obvious challenges currently confronting the nation.  Each demands and deserves significant attention and creative thinking to resolve.  Yet, what if I told you there was one solution that would fix all of the problems facing us and it’s within your power to do something about it?

Curious? Intrigued?

Well, first, a little background.

Over the past 50 years, the technological explosion has outpaced our social and spiritual development.  As a result, our application of the technology can be likened to a 12-year-old who is given the keys to the family car.  While he or she may know how to put the key into the ignition, press on the accelerator and turn the wheel… what is intended to be a means of transportation turns into a deadly weapon.  Without maturity, understanding and formal training, a 12-year-old with access to driving a car is… no pun intended… an accident waiting to happen.

So, too, is humanity in relation to technology.  Whether it’s the misuse of nuclear power for aggressive purposes or living lives propelled to the point of insanity by cell phones, blackberries, faxes, ipads, or 24/7 news… we are that 12-year-old with the keys in hand lacking the maturity, understanding and training to moderate how, when and why we use what’s before us.  Absent those safeguards, we are not driving the technology, the technology is driving us (again, no pun intended but I can’t seem to help myself!).

Understanding the point at which we’ve arrived, and the inherent dangers, can be very helpful.  To go back to the car analogy, the 12-year-old is unlikely to self-regulate.  After all, the car is fun and faster than walking.  The most likely event that would change his or her mind would be a collision.  The more serious the collision, the greater the change of mind and perspective.

Unfortunately, humanity cannot afford the equivalent of a significant auto collision.  We have become too interconnected globally, and too reliant personally, to withstand a technologically based accident without severe and long lasting consequences: e.g. Japan’s nuclear meltdown.

What can we do?  Well, here’s what you can do.  Get off this train.

First, evaluate your own life and decrease the role that technology plays in it.  Each self-limitation you impose will restore an equal or greater amount of sanity to your world… and the world at large.  Secondly, daily study and teach, by way of example, choices and behavior that are ethically and morally driven.  Thirdly, reconnect with or enhance the role that God/spirituality/Source plays in your life.

If you think that changing your personal relationship with technology will make little difference, let me remind you of a scientific fact.  When a butterfly flaps its wings in New York wind patterns change in Europe.  It’s just a matter of time.

We, like Nature, are all One and everything each of us does affects the whole.  For good or for ill.  And so your changes matter.  They matter most immediately to the quality of your own life.  Eventually and inevitably, however, they matter to the quality of everyone else’s.

That’s what you can do and that’s how you can change the world.

One decision at a time.

I try to stay informed.  What that means to me is that I try and listen to both sides of the argument… whatever “the argument” may be.  Lately, I’ve come to the conclusion that we have become so polarized in our efforts to resolve our financial and societal crises that we’ve all but lost the ability to transcend differences and find common ground.

Potentially polarizing points of view are not unique to 21^st century America.  The six Native American tribes that combined to form the Iroquois Confederacy, the thirteen colonies that wrote the Declaration of Independence and the twelve states that sent representatives to Philadelphia in 1787 each had disparate opinions and interests. Yet, in each of the three instances, the common good transcended both the diverse interests at stake as well as the personal egos of the individuals representing those interests.

Given the dire circumstances we now find ourselves facing, why can we not see the wisdom of those lessons? I think the answers are ego, greed and fear of the unknown.

Contrast those examples with the current state of our economy, just one of the many challenges we face.  Both sides are blaming the other and both sides are dug in deep.  Each has special interests coming to bear. The common good doesn’t appear to be anyone’s priority, although if you listen carefully they each have some valid points and helpful suggestions.  The problem is that when you “dig in deep” there’s so much mud on top it’s hard to hear above ground!

Our President should be making a positive, leadership contribution towards resolving the underlying issues and elevating the discourse. Instead, he was most recently at Facebook corporate headquarters yesterday fueling the blame game and doing it directly with one of the groups he is courting politically for 2012, the young. That delivery, instead of inspiring others to seek the common good, was soliciting votes for the second term.  And while Mark Zuckerberg, founder of Facebook, added that he “wouldn’t mind paying a little more in increased taxes on the wealthy”… a comment that got him a laugh from his constituents (also known as his “employees”)… he’s not one to look to for guidance.  He appropriated the idea for his company and had to pay 65 million dollars for the mea culpa.

The solution is to drop the posturing and realize that more resources (energy, time, and money) are wasted on maintaining incompatible positions than are needed to solve the problem.  To acknowledge that we are all in this together and that it really is sink or swim time.  To accept that reprioritizing our values will make us better human beings not poorer ones.  Finally, to be grown up enough to acknowledge that no one person… or one side… has all the answers.  Both sides have kernels of good ideas to contribute toward meeting our challenges.

I like the saying, “wisdom may come from your grandmother cooking chicken soup at the stove.” The key is being confident enough… and smart enough… to know that and listen for it.