Author Archive

I’m in the business of Hope.

It’s very rewarding work. Let me give you an example of what I do.

Recently, I attended a women’s networking luncheon sponsored by a law firm. You see, I used to be a lawyer and was invited through my law school alumni association. It was set up like “speed-dating”….exchanging 5 minutes with each person present to share what you do professionally and see if you can make any lasting or lucrative business contacts. As I said, a former lawyer, I attended to market my current field, which is Life Coaching. Since I was certain that every other woman there would be a lawyer, I saw it as a great opportunity. But an interesting thing happened on the way to marketing my Life Coaching.

Hope happened.

In the process of those 5 minute exchanges, I encountered three special women. One was a young lawyer from China who had moved to the United States 5 years ago and had just obtained her license to practice in the U.S.  The other two were recent law school graduates looking to make contacts to find a job. And while I couldn’t offer any of them a job, I was able to give them something of great value. I gave them each a much needed dose of self-confidence, renewed faith in a positive outcome, and hope. I just didn’t know that’s what I had given them until the luncheon was over.  As I was sitting in a corner talking with another attendee, each of those three young women went out of their way to find me and thank me, in their own way, for what I had given them.  Each had a big smile on her face and obvious renewed purpose in her voice and eyes. I was happy for them.

After the luncheon I was wondering whether going had been worth the time and effort since I wasn’t sure if I actually made any contacts that would turn into future business. And that question stayed with me until the next morning when, engaged in my routine meditation practice of starting each day, I got my answer. For in the middle of my meditation, I became overwhelmed with a loving feeling around what I had been able to do for those three young women and had the realization that they were actually the reason I had been guided to go to that event.

Whether I get business out of it is irrelevant. 

We are all here to serve in some way….to support the highest good for the Earth and It’s inhabitants.  This is the only real meaning that Life can have and its also the only thing of lasting value. Some of us figure that out sooner than others. I’m one of the late bloomers. It’s not that I’ve never known that what I routinely do is gain insight into what people are struggling with and throw them a lifeline, its that its only recently that I’ve realized it’s my Life’s Work.  It’s my purpose, my calling, it’s Who I Am. 

Because we live in a society where materialism reigns supreme and you are what you produce or earn in dollars, we are not encouraged to know the necessity and importance of identifying what makes our Soul sing or the mandate to then sing that song.

As a nation and a species we are passing through very challenging times. Many people are feeling lost, frightened and insecure about the future. I don’t know about the need for lawyers or Life Coaches during such transition, but I know with certainty that there will be plenty of work for someone in the business of Hope.

As for what the job pays…well, that’s not all that important to me.

You see, when doing God’s work, everything you need is provided by your Employer.

REMEMBER to click here to download a copy of my FREE e-book,”Too Many Secrets.”

It’s been a week since my last entry. Not something I’m proud of but I’ve been really preoccupied. I’m closing in on the trial date for my divorce (November 19th). Even though I have a lawyer, and I’m a former one myself, it doesn’t change the emotional stress or time-consuming preparation that go with it. Add to that the fact that I’m co-trustee, along with my sister, for assets managed on behalf of our 93-year-old Mother in this economy…well, watching the portfolio decline day after day is no barrel of laughs either.

So what’s a girl to do?

Well, today I read someone else’s blog about the importance of preparation and thinking in advance. Seems the theory is that if you prepare in advance in your mind for possible outcomes….you’re less likely to be surprised or caught unaware. So I tried to apply that, in hindsight, to where I find myself in the moment. I asked myself if forethought would have changed anything about these two challenges I now face, simultaneously.

Did I mention I’m also recovering from a torn tendon in my ankle…7 weeks in a cast…and now 8 weeks of physical therapy ahead of me?

Could I have planned for my divorce? Would advanced thinking have changed anything? Well, remember, I’m a former divorce lawyer so I guess, from a legal standpoint, I could have insisted upon a prenuptial agreement and that would have settled the financial aspects of it all. But I never gave it a second thought because to me, a pre-nup is pretty much like hedging your bet and saying “part of me thinks this is a losing proposition.” 

Not exactly the way I wanted to enter into marriage.

As for the whole “Could I have planned for the emotional let down and pain of parting with someone I thought would be my best friend for life?” possibility…I don’t think so. I think if you go into love full throttle forward, with no holding back, you run the risk of getting your heart stomped…but what a ride if you don’t… or until you do!  I don’t think I’d want to play it safe and miss the fullness and richness of that experience for the safety of reserving some of my feelings for a possible rainy day.

As for the trust assets?

Well, it’s only one-quarter of them that’s heading south. The other 75% are pretty solid, so in some sense there was some advanced thinking and planning or it would all be heading in that direction. As for the severity of this downturn or the longevity of it…Life is chance and there are no guarantees. If worrying about money is the most important thing we’ve got going for us… well, perhaps we’re missing the whole point of this ride called Life.

So what’s my answer if not “better advance planning?”

It’s higher values, acceptance and trust.

I think that if we devote our energy to being the best we can be and seeking the highest good for all concerned in every situation we will automatically be prepared in advance for any occurrence. That appraoch makes it possible to live fully in the Now.

If we accept that what shows up in our lives..the seemingly good, bad and the ugly…are all for us to learn from, then we have no regrets, but instead look upon every occurrencey as a potential growth experience.

If we trust that the Universe (and our higher Self) know what we need and will provide it, we can anticipate the best, instead of preparing for the worst, and in so doing create a more meaningful outcome.

I love to play with words. The first letters of higher values, acceptance and trust are HAT. 

Next time you’re in a situation such as I am in right now…lots of stress and challenge…just change HATs.  Take off the worry hat and go for the Hhighest good for all concerned while Aaccepting what is and Trusting what will be.

I just did and I feel better already.

REMEMBER to click here to download a FREE copy of my e-book, “Too  Many Secrets.”

 

I had an interesting experience this past week. I wrote a blog entry about Barack Obama that spurred a reader to comment and share his opposing view. His thoughts were intelligent and well thought out…and even though I didn’t agree with him I did reply. Which prompted him to send a second and more lengthy comment. By this time, we had exchanged enough thoughts that the distance between our positions had closed somewhat.

It was gratifying to turn what felt like an adversary into a friend.

But there was something even more important about our exchanges.  While he is voting for Barack Obama, and I still don’t know what I’ll do two days from now, he made a statement in his second exchange that stunned me. He said that he was voting for Obama with reservations; however, McCain was not an option for him and to vote for a third candidate, such as the Green Party, would effectively be like staying home.

It got me to thinking about the countless people I have spoken with and e-mailed with over the past 6 months who aren’t really voting for either Obama or McCain out of conviction, but rather simply because one or the other is the lesser of two evils. Or, if that statement is too strong, then because neither is great but they’re all we’ve got.

Which is the part that stuns me.

I suspect that if everyone who isn’t thrilled with either of these two men would actually go into the voting booth on November 4th and all vote for another choice….we’d probably elect that other choice! And so what is frustrating to the point of madness is that “they”…the powers that still be…have us believing that we only get to choose from the options they present.

Just where is that written?

I write a great deal about our awakening consciousness and the profound changes that are taking place in our world as a result of that awakening. I think this election is a perfect example of how things have been and how we can affect how they will be going forward.

John McCain effectively got the Republican nomination because he “waited his turn” within his party. Barack Obama got his nomination through clever politicking and a ton of money. Then they both said, “Take your pick. We’re the only games in town.”

Well, I don’t think so. 

Maybe for the moment, because we have awakened slowly and this one got by us. But it can and will be different from Now on…if you believe that you get to create the reality you want and do not have to settle for someone else’s version.

I know what my reader was saying when he said that voting for the Green Party candidate or some other third option would be like staying home. I know what he meant but I disagree, and I think he’s actually helped me make up my mind. I get to choose….it’s my vote…and as the old saying goes…every journey begins with one small step.

I’ve set out on a journey for real change. The kind that will create a world where personal autonomy, personal responsibility, and personal integrity are the norm. If I can’t make it happen on November 4th…I can at least take one small step on that journey by voting not for their reality but for mine.

REMEMBER to click here to download a FREE copy of my e-book, “Too Many Secrets.”

 

A Short Thought to Ponder:

We live in a very material world. Literally and figuratively. Literally, everything is made up of matter…physical matter. That’s the literal part. Figuratively, we care a great deal about how many “things” we can acquire in an effort to rate our successes as well as to subdue or distract us from the fear of mortality we all run up against…sooner or later.

Therefore, with so much emphasis on the material… things matter.

Or do they?

In reality, lasting joy, satisfaction and peace of mind are never the result of any “thing” we acquire but rather the bounty derived from those intangible experiences we have and emotional connections we establish.

It turns out what really matters is not a thing at all. What matters is no-thing.

See. Nothing matters.

REMEMBER to click here to download a copy of my FREE e-book, “Too Many Secrets.“

Catchy title, don’t you think? Bet you’re wondering what they could possibly have in common.

Well, before I go there, let me first say that I’m a life-long registered Democrat who has never voted for a Republican Presidential candidate. I have no ax to grind and no agenda here, other than to face life with eyes wide open as opposed to eyes wide shut.  To that end, Campbell Brown, CNN anchor and columnist, posted an interesting article today on CNN.com.

Ms. Brown notes that a year ago, Barack Obama publicly vowed that he would accept public financing and “work with the Republican nominee to ensure they both operated within those [spending] limits.” Problem is… Obama didn’t keep his word. Now why he didn’t keep his word is almost as important as the fact that he simply didn’t. The reason is that he quickly realized how much more money he could raise outside the constraints of the Federal Election Law rules. And since money not only talks in America, it also buys elective office, that observation wasn’t going to slip past a Harvard Law School graduate.  Hence, he reneged on his word.

So why Nixon?  Well, 19 years before Richard Nixon was elected President of the United States he had earned himself the nickname “Tricky Dick” based upon his campagin tactic against Helen Douglas for a United States Senate seat…which he won.

Now I never understood how people were shocked and surprised by Watergate and all that it encompassed, or Nixon’s erasing of the tapes, or his patent lying, when they had knowingly elected a man nicknamed “Tricky Dick.”  The only rationale I ever came up with was that despite the discernible facts, voters just didn’t want to know. And I think it’s happening again.

I’m not saying Obama is Nixon, or has his character..or lack thereof. I’m not even saying much about Obama… mainly because I don’t think this is about him.

I think it’s about Us. 

I think we need to wake up, rub the sleep from our eyes, get past the campaign slogans, and hold ourselves accountable for what is knowable vs. what we only want to know. 

And I think we’d better hurry.

There is too much at stake here to cry “poor me” after the fact if what we wind up with is exactly what is known before hand, but also exactly what we chose not to ponder too long or too hard.  As Michael Douglas said in the movie, An American President…. “Citizenship isn’t easy. You’ve got to want it bad.” 

Well, we’re still blessed with it…Citizenship, that is…admittedly within a system that’s less than perfect and which, lately, is more out of balance than is healthy. But while we still have a voice and a vote it’s our responsibility to call them as we see them…not as they tell us it is.  If you’re running on “Change” but fueling it through age-old-slight-of-hand and deceit…well, shame on me if I let you get away with it.

And shame on me if I help you get there.

Our choices aren’t great this time around. I’ll grant you that. I like Joe Biden but I’ve got to elect Obama to get to him. And I like John McCain but he is up in years and Sarah Palin worries me greatly. So does no check and balance with the prospect of a Democrat Congress and Executive Branch.

So, what to do?

I have no easy answer. Each of us has to privately come to that moment of truth on November 4th. That’s the beauty of it. My sole purpose here is to make enough noise to startle you into opening your eyes to all that’s knowable.

Once you do that, at least you can make an informed decision. Then you can take pride in knowing you  made a conscious choice… and let the chips fall where they will.

REMEMBER to click here to download a FREE copy of my e-book, “Too  Many Secrets.”

I doubt there is one of you out there reading this who is not currently struggling with one or more aspects of your life.  It seems to be a sign of the times that we are all being asked to deal with extraordinary difficulties and challenges. From the economy to relationships to health issues, there seems to be no end to the onslaught of problems needing not only our attention but also our strength and our resolve.

Why is it suddenly so difficult and why are all those tried and true ways of handling things not working?

In a word: Authenticity

We are, collectively, waking up from a long sleep, of sorts, where partial fixes and inauthentic behavior were good enough to get us by….until the next time.  Just what is inauthentic behavior?  It’s living in greater or lesser degrees of denial. It’s settling for less than what you instinctively know to be the highest good. It’s putting forth less than your best effort. It’s saying one thing and living another.

When you’re asleep… unconscious…you are somehow less than responsible. You don’t have to feel everything that you’re experiencing. You can go numb, so to speak, through denial or distraction or drama or all of the above.  It’s a way to behave with varying degrees of integrity and temporarily bypass the consequences of your decisions and your actions.

The operative word being “temporarily.”
 
All you’re really doing when you’re un-conscious and acting inauthentically, is delaying the consequences of your actions, not eliminating them. The inevitability of cause and effect is a fact both scientifically and spiritually. The old saying “no pain, no gain” is true. So what we really accomplish by participating in inauthentic behavior in order to circumvent the pain associated with growth is simply delaying growth. Period. Of course, behind all the effort to delay is fear.  We’re afraid to feel, literally, the pain associated with growing so we trade progress for paralysis and call it life.

Which is why all suffering is joyful. I love the Buddhist saying that the purpose of pain is not to make you suffer…the purpose of pain is to bring you present. Or, you could say, to wake you up. Wake you up from a state of un-conscious behavior to a conscious state of authentic behavior wherein you feel everything and take responsibility for everything you create by thought, word and deed. This is the definition of an authentic life.

So, now that we’re smarter and more awake around all of this, let’s revisit all these difficulties and challenges you’re facing in your life right now.  Surrender to them. Feel the pain associated with them. By your surrender and the accompanying pain, you are becoming fully alive, awakened and conscious. You are embarking upon an authentic life wherein there is no room for half-hearted attempts or untruthfulness and where the pain of growth is eclipsed by the joy of being your authentic Self.

So, suffer these challenges joyfully and use the pain to awaken in you the aliveness for which you’ve hungered. The alternative, to stay unconscious, is of an old reality that can no longer provide you the nourishment you need.

Just when you’re thinking there’s nothing you can do to help the world economy, save the environment and promote peace… up pops a simple way to do all three at once! 

Think I’m kidding or just delusional? Read on.

Lots of people have theories about why the former Soviet Union collapsed when it did and most Republicans, not to mention Americans, like to say it was President Ronald Reagan’s in-your-face-cowboy-stand that did it. But Thomas L. Friedman, author of “Hot, Flat and Crowded” has put forth an intriguing and, I dare say, logical alternative that is based less on hubris and more on economics and the environment.

In his latest book, Friedman shares a conversation he had in 2007 with Vladimir Mau, director of Russia’s Academy of National Economy wherein Friedman posited whether it was “$10-a-barrel oil, not Ronald Reagan, that brought down the Soviet Regime?” Mau’s unhesitating reply was that it was actually “$70-a-barrel oil followed by $10-a-barrel oil that killed the Soviet Union.”  The high oil prices of the 1970’s that resulted from both the Arab oil embargo and the Iranian revolution seduced the then Soviet Union into living off of the rich oil revenues it was the beneficiary of while at the same time promoting and subsidizing all kinds of inefficient industries rather embark upon real economic reform. When the price of oil then collapsed in the 1980’s and 1990’s, an ill-prepared and antiquated Soviet Union collapsed along with them as it had neglected to make the real changes that would have allowed it to bring it’s economy and it’s industries forward into a global marketplace.

So, what’s that got to do with you? 

Well, current seemingly dark times can have a “silver lining” too. Check out today’s CNN story about falling oil prices http://www.cnn.com/2008/US/10/26/gas.prices/index.html . It seems that the shaky world economy is having it’s impact on oil. For several reasons. But your contribution is that you’re using less gasoline and watching you oil consumption because dollars are in short supply and you’re not sure what the future holds.  The resulting decline in the price of oil is hurting guess who? That’s right. The producers and sellers of oil…all those countries that would like to see the United States, and the rest of the free world, brought to their knees. So to the extent that countries such as Iran and Venezuela have neglected addressing real economic reform and other necessary changes because they have been resting on the laurels of their oil revenues….well, you get the picture.

Now, if you use less oil and oil related products, thereby causing a continued drop in the price of oil, you may just make a difference in the economic stability of oil-producing nations similar to what occurred in the former Soviet Union.  And if you destabilize those regimes you may make way for new and alternative means of governance. Perhaps more humanitarian and more peaceful governance. And, if you use and consume less oil and oil-related products you positively impact the environment and reduce CO2 emissions.

So, there you have it.  You’ve just helped the economy, the environment and promoted world peace just by the choices you will make today around oil consumption.  It’s not a guarantee, of course. It could just be my fantasy or a mixed metaphor. But just thinking it might work gives you something to mull over and perhaps, even something to do (or not do) today.

In a world so seemingly out of balance with so many challenges, I like having something I can actually do that may make a positive difference. It’s empowering. 

When was the last time you felt empowered?

REMEMBER to click here to download a FREE copy of my e-book, “Too Many Secrets.”

Note: This is actually something from the Inspirational Thoughts page of my website carolegold.com. It was written over a year ago but, when I re-read it today, I thought how helpful it could be right now… so here it is. Enjoy!

Personal and professional relationships are vehicles we use to learn about ourselves in ways we are unable to explore on our own. Unless we experience our behavior and its consequences through the responses of other people, we lack the gift of reflection that allows us to see ourselves more honestly and more completely. Others are, in essence, our “mirrors” and provide us with a unique and multi-faceted view of ourselves. I’m certain that’s why we are born into a world populated with other human beings.    
   
However, this gift of reflection, like so many of life’s gifts, is often taken for granted. Too frequently, we ignore the potential benefit of difference and instead pursue the comfort of similarity. Whether it’s an individual or a group of individuals with whom we disagree, our failure to embrace these differences or worse, to fear them, deprives us of the opportunity to learn and grow in new and meaningful ways. Sadly, the early part of the 21st century finds this tendency permeating not only our personal lives, but our national political life and our spiritual lives as well.
 
Personally, we tend to align ourselves with like-minded people and groups. It’s the rare individual or group enlightened enough to give differing opinions the respect they deserve. Politically, we have become a nation of two camps, Democrat and Republican, each of which has perfected the art of divide and conquer through misuse of both the influence of the media as well as the financial power of large corporations. And finally, spiritually, the world looks increasingly like three locomotives – Jew, Christian and Muslim – all speeding toward a disastrous, head-on collision.

The irony in all of this division and opposition is that every important historical document and every major religious tenet supports and encourages unity. Each one praises and extols the concept of Oneness, not in the sense of a loss of individual identity, but rather in the sense of comprehending the value of our relationships to and with one another. This sense of Oneness has been the aspiration and realization of all great thinkers and leaders throughout the history of humankind.

So why is it so hard for us to hold on to this vital concept of Oneness and how do we change direction and leave the lonely path of separation? The answer is a two-step process that is relatively simple to comprehend and only slightly more difficult to apply.  
 
First we lessen our dependency upon a media empire that feeds and prospers off of our fears and our need to belong. Television can be not only mind-numbing but also dangerous. It bombards us with at best half-truths and, at worst, lies about who we are, who others are, and what it takes to live prosperous and satisfying lives. It is illusion we reinforce each time we invite it in by tuning in. And, as a culture, we tune it in too often. Print, radio and the internet are not far behind. Each of these mediums is ready and willing to help us define ourselves in ways that allow others to stay prosperous and in control of our lives. So, the first step is to turn inside ourselves and begin to define your life by what your inner voice is saying rather than by the collective voice of countless others.

The second step is to learn how to hear your inner voice. This is the easy part since there’s a “channel” you can access to tune in and receive your own personalized messages. The way to access the channel is prayer. Not prayer as we generally think of it. Not a plea for help during difficult times or a request for fulfillment of your material wants. Rather, prayer as quiet time to go within yourself and listen to what you really want so that you can know what it is you really need to do. Becoming quiet and still is simultaneously the doorway to the path of oneness and best way off the path of separation.

When all the externally imposed, meaningless messages of need are removed, you become able to focus on the true yearning that originates from within. That yearning is the same for every human being. It’s the yearning for Oneness and peace. Personally, I find this quiet place every Sabbath for I am a Jew and the Sabbath is an opening in time for me to go within and listen.
 
But such a space is available to every human being with or without religious affiliation. To become quiet and go within is to replace the outward illusion with the inner reality. The method is prayer; oneness and peace the vision. Both attainable goals. Simply begin by first turning down (and later turning off) those voices that say they know better than you what it is you truly desire.

Then when it gets quiet, just listen.                     

REMEMBER to click here to download a FREE copy of my e-book, “Too Many Secrets.”

Remember that last scene from the original “Raiders of the Ark”?  Indy and Marion are tied back to back against a pole and the Nazi’s are opening The Ark of the Covenant. Indy turns his head, as best he can, in her direction and shouts “Don’t look Marion….don’t look!” Good advice given that the energy escaping from the Ark, having been violated by evil intentions, is melting everything and everyone in sight. 

Good advice right now about the Dow. If you’re within ear-shot of me pay attention: Don’t Look!

Don’t look at the indexes, don’t look at the headlines…in fact, don’t even listen to news about it. Fear, like the energy escaping from the Ark, is attempting to run amok, and unchecked, it will take down everything and everyone in its way. 

Indy’s advice is not so off the mark. 

If you pay attention to the bad news your attention feeds the fear. You’re literally adding your thoughts to the illusion that the sky is falling. If you want to give the power of your thoughts to anything try giving it to Alan Greenspan’s comments yesterday to Congress. He said it’s an economic tsunami but we’re going to be in better and healthier economic shape after it’s over. Or pay attention to Warren Buffet who seems to know his financial stuff…he’s buying American stock. Or pay attention to what the portfolio managers of the really large funds are doing…they’re buying while everyone else is freaking out about selling.

What Indy was telling her was that your reality is as you create it with your thoughts, your intention and your attention. So be smart. Don’t place your thought, your intention or your attention upon that which you do not want. Instead, place them upon that which you do want.

I see those antiquated, corrupted systems…both private and governmental…withering away. I see systems based upon integrity and justice taking their place. I see a world where women and children are not beaten and raped and sold as pawns in political wars. I see a United States that remembers its highest ideals and lives them. I see a world that understands the interconnectedness of all people to one another and to all living things and acts accordingly and responsibly.

I don’t see the “futures” this morning. This morning I see a bright Future.

What do you see?

REMEMBER to click here to download a FREE copy of my e-book, “Too Many Secrets.”

Bet you’re wondering how these two could possibly be related? Well, read on.  First of all a quick refresher. There are only two emotions. Love and Fear… so that ought to immediately go a long way toward closing the credulity gap! 

Clearly we are now being challenged by an onslaught of Fear based upon the economy and, particularly, the Wall Street related “losses” (it’s in quotes for a reason I’ll get to shortly).  However, there’s always choice (a.k.a. Free Will) around how we handle and respond to what we are experiencing. So, based upon the two emotion premise, what if you reject Fear and instead choose Love.

What happens then?

Well, I like to think of the letters in the word Love as standing for “Living Oneness Valuing Everything.” With that in mind, the first realization is that money is not all there is to value. Or, at least, not all we should value. For example, there’s health, friendship, family, laughter, the capacity to be joyful, the beauty of Nature, a good book… just to name a few. So, when you shift from worrying about all the money the stock market has “lost”…you open the portal to gratitude. 

Yes, gratitude.

Just put the money aside for one minute and jot down all that you have to be grateful for in your life right now. This instant. Can you get a glass of fresh, clean water to drink if you’re thirsty? Swallow if you’re hungry? Call a friend if you’re lonely? Take a walk without pain? Laugh? Because if you get back all the money you’ve “lost” or expect to “lose” in the present economy all of it combined will not be able to buy you any of those.

This is Valuing Everything.

As for Living Oneness, well, the world is out of balance. Seriously out of balance.  There are some people with astronomical wealth and opportunity while others are, quite literally, starving to death or being perversely tortured to death with no hope for relief… let alone change.  This condition is unnatural in the purest sense of the word.  Nature, left to It’s own devices, strikes a balance…seeks harmony…perpetually returns to a state of equilibrium. Nature does not tolerate perversion…at least not for very long.

This state of equilibrium… that’s where we’re now headed. That’s what the “losses” on Wall Street represent: a rejection of perversion and a return to balance and harmony.

Now, to the quotation marks.  We’re not “losing” anything.

We’re re-aligning with what matters. We’re ending one direction and heading in another. We’re re-prioritizing. We’re gaining clarity. We’re grasping the significance of what we are to One Another. We’re embarking on Living Oneness.

So, there it is. Love and Wall Street.  As always, you choose.