Permission To Rest

>     I begin this entry thinking that it will be short. I am tired. Woke up that way this morning. In fact, didn’t think there would be an entry at all. But as the day moves on, and I sluggishly with it, it seems that fatigue and rest are subjects with as much merit as Presidential candidates or fluctuating economies. So, I am writing on commitment, responsibility, and guilt. All subject matter that directly tie in to why as tired as I am, I’m still writing.
    We are not taught to believe that some days it’s quite all right, even perfect, to NOT do what it is we do every day. Some days seem to hit us in the face the moment we open our eyes. You know the feeling. It’s like a knot in your solar plexus combined with a heaviness in your heart. Even routine morning tasks appear to be an uphill climb. Now, I’m not talking about depression or some mental or emotional deficiency that needs attention. I’m simply talking about honoring our internal message system.
    This morning mine was a blinking sign flashing “Gridlock. Proceed With Caution.”
    I’ve become pretty adept at hearing and following my internal guidance. I’ve come to trust It and know It guides me in the right direction. But even those of us who hear the inner call can stumble. And so I proceeded out into the world today to attend to what it was I had intended to tend to…and I’ve gotten some of it accomplished.
    Although not very well.
    You see, when we ignore our inner guidance we are really asserting what I would call the “will of ego” over Thy Will. Thy Will is the knowing of our Authentic Self that is directly connected to All That Is. Thy Will (which is My Highest Will) has my growth and creative expression as it’s highest intention. So when I choose to ignore it’s direction, I am more likely than not bucking traffic. Which is why setting out today with business as usual felt like gridlock. Or spinning my wheels. Or any other auto analogy one can come up with. You get the point.
    I write to the blog Monday through Friday. It’s Friday. So, I needed to write to the blog. That’s my commitment. Not having done that gave me feelings of guilt that I was not being responsible. Now, honestly, I know better than to get trapped by useless feelings of guilt. And yet, it was the guilt that propelled me to here and now so maybe it’s not so useless after all.
    I’d like to believe that this stream of consciousness blog entry will be of value to someone, somewhere. That would certainly be worth the exhaustion I’m feeling as I wrap this up. I am headed for a nap because I’m running out of what it takes not to.
    Those of you who are regular readers know I like to end with a punch and give you a “take away” as you go. So here it is.
    If you’re tired, rest. Life waits. Really.

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